How are you handling depression?
If you have depression, wat do you think is causing it and how are you handling it while still working/programming?
I was depressed for almost 10 years. It started in my sophomore year of college. Initially I would finish 3 hour programming assignments in 10-15 minutes and was the student representative of the CS department. I had a lot of friends, and was quite 'normal' I suppose. Then things started literally falling apart. I lost interest in my old hobbies, stopped talking to friends, kept failing classes, found no pleasure in anything. I asked my roommates to find another place and started living alone, and then decided to commit suicide by cutting my wrists in the bathtub with a knife but pussied out when the blade touched my skin... Fuck, what a nightmare.
However, I somehow dragged my feet through this misery and managed to graduate (two years late and at the bottom of my class) and luckily bumped into an old friend who remembered how good I was with computers back in highschool. He was running his own company and offered me a (non-programming, IT) job. It was great at first but once again the depression started rearing its ugly head and I started slacking off at work, being late for appointments and isolating myself again.
I tried doing the things people seem to suggest online like exercising regularly (never could for more than a month), yoga, mindful meditation, but I would always relapse.
It took me 6-months to finally get the courage and see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and put me on lexapro. I could never imagine how much 10mg of something could change your life.
Within a few days I started seeing major changes in myself. It rekindled my interests in my hobbies (programming, gaming, reading etc.) my memory improved tremendously, I felt compassion towards my friends and family, much more social and became super efficient at work. Fast forward a year and I'm now CEO of my friends company and I've dealt with some personal tragedies on the way without relapsing. Things are holding up pretty well.
If you think you're depressed don't hesitate to seek help. If you notice someone falling apart for no reason and might be depressed, offer to accompany them to a psychiatrist and that you'll keep it confidential. (I wish I had gone sooner)
One addition I made to the CT techniques was visualizing my emotions as having distinct personalities –– Anger, Sadness, etc. I got this idea after watching the recent Pixar movie. It's silly but it really helps to picture your emotions as people who have their own agendas and are trying to manipulate you into carrying them out because then your depression becomes a people management problem. Consider the difference: 1) how can I manage Anger, Sadness or Fear so they don't drive me nuts? 2) how can I cure my depression? The first one is actionable, and the second one is not.
Despite having good results with CT, I'm convinced there is no magic cure to depression. You only manage it all your life. But that's a good thing because it means depression management is a skill you can cultivate, and that gives me hope.
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[0] http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/cognitive-therapy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_serotonin_reuptake_i...
Everyone who is depressed, or knows someone who is depressed, should keep in mind that everyone is an individual, and there are many causes of depression.
If you are depressed, your first stop should be a doctor or other professional, as soon as possible. Today is Sunday, so call and make an appointment tomorrow, Monday.
Do not try to tough it out or ignore it. Your life does not have to be miserable.
Some people mentioned doing sports and in my opinion, this is one of the most helpful things one can do. Running a mile maybe one or two times a week can clear your mind from lots of negative thoughts and make you feel happier. In addition to that, some people like Yoga/Pilates to calm down and rearrange themselves. After all, the very most important step is getting professional help! Depression can influence your whole life and it is always good to have someone who is listening.
Summarized: - Get professional help - Do sports - Write down what you feel - Reduce stress
1. Home life: How our your living conditions, bills, people you live with. Are you comfortable?
2. Work life(e.g. Work/Study/Job hunting): Do you enjoy what you do and is it a good working environment?
3.Relationships: How are you getting on with Friends, Family, boyfriend/girlfriend e.t.c?
If one of these area's is off then it's ok and you can usually cope if two or more are off then you definitely need to try and change something. Alwyas talk to someone about these feelings/situations as it's very hard to think clearly or logically during these times you definatley need a second opinion. And somethign to be aware of that a lot of people don't seem to know is imposter syndrome which most people deal with at sometime or other. When you have the idea that although you can do something your actually just fakeing it and eventually wil be found out: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/nov/09/impostor...
Atypical depression is characterised by mood reactivity and is the most common form of depression (40%).
See a doctor, get some therapy for the bad thoughts that you've internalised when you were depressed, and get a prescription.
Life can be great.
Hyperbole and a Half couldn't have explained it better: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-...
How have I addressed all this junk? I've been seeing an EMDR therapist for about 7-8 months now and simply talking through these issues, asking hard questions, and confronting my feelings with an honest-as-possible lens. Much of it has been tackling shame head-on, walking past it, and acknowledging how much I've grown into a person I'm starting to love more. Part of it is also finding nuggets of a person I once loved being and reclaiming them, challenging myself to love others without restraint, have empathy, and place others before me.
EMDR therapy in particular has been really interesting. While I don't think it's an end-all solution, it has been well researched, and takes talk therapy to a new level. It forces you to process memories as you would while sleeping (specifically, REM sleep), with a hope to reprogram your feelings towards those memories, or scenarios you've created that lead you to believing you're much less of a person than you really are. It plays into the idea that we are our own worst enemy, and say the worst things to ourselves which form our identities, which in turn affects how we work (program), and where we stand with others. "Surely I'm the least [important / impactful / compassionate / loving] person in this room."
With all that said, I highly recommend seeking therapy if it's affordable, and most of all, be as truthful and honest with yourself as possible. Confronting your doubts and fears head-on, and replacing them with positive truths about who you are goes a long way, even if it takes some time. It really helps to have a therapist with you to affirm these truths. Remember, they may not know you as well as the people in your life, but that's good, because this person you're seeing is an unbiased support figure, fighting for the potential you have in you. This may not be _the_ solution, but it certainly will push you in the right direction to a life filled with hope.
But you know, there's something therapeutic about coding, where solving the many problems we solve give us some sense of a victory. And that's something, isn't it?