Some handy notes from the CDC fact sheet:
Genital herpes can cause recurrent painful genital sores in many adults
People diagnosed with a first episode of genital herpes can expect to have several (typically four or five) outbreaks (symptomatic recurrences) within a year.
Regardless of severity of symptoms, genital herpes frequently causes psychological distress in people who know they are infected -- maybe because of the frightening prospect of giving someone you like, or at least do not hate, "recurrent painful genital sores." And because you have to disclose to every person you sleep with, before sleeping with them, that sleeping with you may cause recurrent painful genital sores.
How in the world is that not a big deal? People who are infected with herpes are sexually cut off from the majority of people who are not. There are dating sites just for people with herpes, because they get tired of meeting someone, getting to know and like them, disclosing their herpes status, and then finding out that their new friend does not want to roll the dice on getting recurrent painful genital sores.
Did I mention that herpes causes recurrent painful genital sores in many people who become infected? You know, that might have something to do with the "stigma."
Check the CDC site for info on herpes. Something like one in 5 people have it, that means if you're even moderately sexually active you probably do as well.
Ahhh, NO. Let's not confuse the population as a whole with the people who have a clue and give a damn. From the people I know, about in five seems roughly right, or maybe a bit low -- for sexually active people around the age of thirty. But then again, I tend to hang out with enlightened sex-positive yuppie types who get tested and disclose their herpes status to potential sex partners. We don't look down on people who are infected -- we just don't have sex across the infected/not infected line. (People who lie about that kind of thing are gaped at with uncomprehending horror.) It isn't a perfect system, but it works a hell of a lot better at preventing recurrent painful genital sores than deciding that we all probably have it so why bother caring?