A. Who are you to tell me if I'm living or not. Furthermore, what's your criteria for "LIVING". Assuming the status quo; I'm hitting all the major tenents: I travel extensively, I'm married, I've a whole host of life experiences worthy of a book or a movie, I read, I enjoy film, I live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood in NYC, I eat great food. I have nice friends. That sounds like living to me?
B. If you also define living by including having an impact on other's lives, than indeed I'm living life to the fullest. No I'm not writing any life saving medical software, but I do write software that people use to express themselves creatively and know a number of the users of my software who have gone on to do some pretty impressive things because of what my software taught them about themselves; their capabilities, talents, etc. This is why I write software in the first place.
Now, could I do this extreme lifestyle if I was working for a bank? Hell no. If I was working at an advertising agency? Hell no. But guess what? My extremism has lead me to an oppurtunity to write software for myself and for my own company. Again, living life to it's fullest. Instead of helping others chase their business dreams, I am living my own.
So get down from your horse, dude. Because I don't live in the suburbs with my wife and 1.5 kids doesn't mean I'm not living life.
1/ you're not married. You're just the ghost of lovers. being married means something like enjoying spending time with your precious other.
2/ you're not travelling : you're moving from one airport to the other, with a brief pause in office and hotel between them. travelling means learning the country you're in. Don't delude yourself, you're not travelling except on the surface.
3/ you have no friends, as the rest you have no time for them.
I know the pull of a (code) project, especially when you're the boss. It can become an obsession, and eat over your personnal life. But believe me, beyond 9 hours of real work, you're worthless. Many excellent, brillant coders underlined that for men and in the end, I have to admit they are right.
To be better, you must be open to the world.