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Comment by lqdc13 | Hacker News Reader

Well, I understand where he's coming from. But if you follow this line of reasoning further, you basically say that you should never help anyone - including your immediate family - with anything because they might think you ruined it for them.

I'm not saying you should be Mother Teresa, or even help people you don't like, but iff you like someone and they need help, just help them out.

They might help you out later with something else they can do better than you.

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Roughly nobody is going to come up to you after you've helped them put in a fence and say it must be your fault the animals got out last night because you helped them put in the fence six months ago, and you need to come fix it right now. Nobody is going to come up to you after you gave them some chicken soup while they had a cold and say it's your fault they now have cancer and you need to come fix it. But for some reason, a lot of people will do this with computers. Not everybody, and if you have a user who is actually reasonable about it then by all means help them. But be wary about it until you see how they act with computers (which will not necessarily be how they act for anything else) and be ready to cut them off if they start abusing you.

They might help you out later with something else they can do better than you.

Unlikely, because they won't see what you've done as help - you just end up associated with the computer, and viewed as part of the problem.

I'm not saying never help anyone with anything ever - just not with technical tasks - don't build someone a website, don't set their computer up, don't uninstall their malware - you will just end up beholden, and nobody will thank you.

By all means, however, mow the lawn, do the shopping, bake a cake - just nothing which requires ongoing support.

> Unlikely, because they won't see what you've done as help

So many times this.

It is peculiar how people view computer janitory as "simple" activity, despite not being able to do it themselves. Is that because all you do is press some buttons here and there? It is in fact perceived to be so easy that you get people complaining for your free work.

I've been asked by literally total strangers to "fix their PC" for them; would they ever consider asking a random plumber for a favor like that?

- "Oh so you do something with computers, could you please fix my laptop?"

- "Eh what are you doing for a living?"

- "A mason"

- "Cool then, we long wanted to change tiles in the bathroom"

[awkward silence]

I admit, I've never gotten this from total strangers. That would be a very strange experience and I'd probably make a joke about it, as you describe. Relatives have occasionally asked me for computer help but those questions have typically been very specific, time-and-effort-bound, and nobody expected me to deliver on a follow-on "service contract".

I'd guess the scenario is more like a social setting where you know some of the people and don't know others. And you're having a "what do you do?" kind of conversation where you respond with "computer stuff" and then the person you're talking to, or someone in earshot, says something like "Oh, maybe you could help me with mine...".

That's happened to me several times. I've also had people do a similar thing in work settings--people who weren't even direct coworkers.

I don't get much "service" work for the relatives either, save for immediate family. Somehow it's more distant acquaintances (most of my close friends are in IT).

And yeah that conversation was quite out of blue: we were standing in slow grocery queue, think I was wearing my keycard and it came up.

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