Comment by mattmurdog | Hacker News Reader

Comment by mattmurdog | Hacker News Reader

I would look into trying to get your criminal past expunged. Talk to some lawyers, figure it out. My ex-roommate was able to get his wiped, although it wasn't a felony sex offense case.

Work hard to get a new job, even if it's a crappy one. This will be the key to help you turn your life around. I know it did for me. I struggled during my early late 20s too, and when I turned 30 it felt overwhelming... like what have I been doing with my life? But when I put my head down and started to work hard.

Career became my main focus in my 30s and while I am much older now, I can say without doubt, everything got better. I was able to not worry about money, date more, make more friends, indulge in personal interests, etc.

Use this time living at home to save, take any job related to your interest. Keep looking for better opportunities. Save more money. Get that job. Get that girl. Get your life turned around mentally and emotionally. Don't dwell on the past. Good luck!

> although it wasn't a felony sex offense case.

Not to mention, it's a sex offense, he doesn't say could also possibly include being on the sex offender registry.

It's ironic that we talk of "right to forget" in Europe. USA, sex offenders are named and shamed for the rest of their lives as eternal perverts.

One of the sadder scenarios IMO is something like an 18-year-old having quasi-consensual sex with a 17-year-old (I say "quasi" just because by legal definition it can't be consensual.) If convicted, the offender is branded a pedophile for life, but few people are going to consider what actually happened (and it's not documented publicly like the generic crime conviction is.)

I don't know if it's really prevalent, but I know one anecdote that appeared to be like that. Some US States are making progress here, though -- see "Romeo and Juliet laws."

One of my brother's good childhood friends was 18, his girlfriend 16. Both parents approved of the relationship. She stayed out too late one night (with her friends, not the boyfriend), and her parents called the police. Police track her down, but learn of the relationship with the 18-year-old. This was Kansas so it was then out of the parents' hands. He was was convicted of statutory rape, and still to this day (~20 years later) has to inform his neighbors whenever he moves.

(wait for it)

He is married to that same person, and they have three kids together. Registered sex offender for life.

I was curious so I looked up recividism rates. One of the more unsettling results:

The Harris and Hanson analysis included a sample of 1,038 rapists. Recidivism estimates were reported for three distinct followup periods: 5 years, 10 years, and 15 years. Sexual recidivism rates for rapists, based on new charges or convictions, were 14 percent at 5 years, 21 percent at 10 years, and 24 percent at 15 years.

http://www.smart.gov/SOMAPI/sec1/ch5_recidivism.html

(That's for rapists specifically; the "all sex offenders" bucket has much lower overall rate)

Considering how little actual help we give convicted felons, that's a lot lower than I expected.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com