“Chess-Playing Excitement” in 1859
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I played a lot in school and was captain of my school team. I played in league and cup matches for 2 years and every day I practised on fellow students in the sixth form prefects room. There was nothing quite as nerve wracking as sitting opposite your opponent in an important match and shaking hands and the first moves. On the other hand there was the excitment of knowing when you had beaten your opponent and just had to finish him off. I remember going to a tight end game with a top table opponent and had just Queened a pawn with another one 2 moves away. The referee gave me the Queen and said "Shall I leave another Queen here?" I replied "no thanks I just need the one" and grinned at my opponent. It's been said chess is more brutal than war.
I had to give it up as I began obsessing about the game. It was driving me slowly mad. I was having nightmares about being chased around a large chess board by the pieces. I haven't played a game since.
I realize it was probably obvious in your case, but I would have been bothered by the ref making a comment or question like that during the game for fear of tipping off my opponent.
This has been true with most sports or competition based activities that I have done too. There's nothing quite like the nerves you get just before a match starts
EDIT:
I've been pondering this a bit more, and I want to share my thoughts.
I was thinking about how some of my friends react to losses in mental sports/games versus physical sports/games and their particular histories, as well as my own.
Playing a bit to the idea of dualism of mind and body, some people focus more of their energy on the mind and some on the body. This affects their notion of self. For you, your focus was on chess and the mind, consequently a loss in that game or evidence of your mind not being as honed as your opponents strikes your ego more than a loss on the tennis court might. I have teammates on a rec soccer league who take it very seriously. They spent their youths practicing soccer or another sport at least as much as you spent on chess. A loss on the field, or a near loss, hits them hard because their sense of self is so tied to their physical capabilities. Anything demonstrating that they aren't as good as an opponent hits them harder than it would me. I'm a tad bit more like you (though never seriously competitive in mental games/sports), my particular focus in those years was on acquisition of knowledge and understanding. This is not a directly competitive thing (outside of trivia games like Jeopardy!), but meeting someone who understands a field, that I've studied, far better than I do is both inspiring and a blow to the ego. "I've spent X hours, days, months studying this, and still I'm nowhere near this person's level of understanding and capability."
All this is not meant to say that your view is wrong, but that what each person experiences as a hit to their ego is going to be different, and largely determined by what they put their energy into. Outrun a former sprinter and they'll feel the effects of their age and it'll weigh on their mind. Beat an old and unpracticed chess champion and it'll be the same. But beat the sprinter at chess and they won't care, and the chess champion might even laugh at the suggestion of a footrace assuming they'd lost before it began.
I might be making a false distinction but it just seems to be more personal and gets to the core of your being.
I sort of responded to this in my edit to my previous post. I think that each person's notion of self is different and largely a consequence of where they've spent energy developing themselves. If you focus on chess for years, a loss at chess will hit you harder than a loss at golf. If you focus on golf for years, a loss or a particularly uncharacteristically bad showing will hit you harder than a loss at chess.
I'm competent in mental games and passable at sports. I can outsprint a lot of people younger than me and more practiced primarily because of a fortunate body type, not because of practice. But if someone came in and tore my code apart (I've literally been programming for 75% of my life, starting at age 8), that'd hurt me more than any game or sport. Still mental, like chess for you, but it's probably more significant that it's been my focus for so much of my life.
Even Kasparov somehow compares them to chess. http://www.dailydot.com/esports/garry-kasparov-esports-chess...
When I started dreaming about playing tetris, I realized I should probably take it easy.
So although, like chess, the game may hold some benefits for the brain [1], the opportunity cost is astronomical.
Improving your brain while destroying your life . . . well, one could do worse.
[1] http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal....
How do you measure such "astronomical" opportunity cost? There's no meaningful, factual way of establishing the "what if" possibilities for any given individual. Instead, to make a scientific determination, we'd have to examine the lives of populations who engage in activity X versus those who do other things, controlling for other factors.
Is there an "astronomical" difference between economic outcomes for those who play chess at the highest levels, versus those who play football, for example? Could the same thing be said for Starcraft?
(aside: several retired players alleged that there are loads of unreported cases of depression among top-flight pros, mostly due to the fact that they simply don't know what to do with most of their time.)
Idea: make a chess clock where the two sides are independently powered by rechargeable batteries that start with low charge.
Each clock side is hooked to a separate treadmill, which charges that side's battery.
If your side of the clock runs out of power during the game while the other side still has power, you lose. It is up to you to decide when and how much to use the treadmill during the game, as long as you can keep your clock powered.
Implementation Note: it would probably be better to not do this by actually having the treadmill control the power supply for each clock side. It would probably be better to just do this abstractly. The clock would keep track of an allowed run time parameter, a treadmill distance to run time conversion factor, and then would flag if "allowed run time" + "treadmill distance" x "conversion factor" - "actual run time" < 0.
That's not chess per se, it was a reaction to perceived stress. Plus I know that if I really got in to it it'd take over. Chess scares me.
I found this to be true of myself. Chess afficianatos probably know better than me, but wasn't Bobby Fischer a big proponent of alternative rules for chess that removed the advantage of "merely" memorizing strong opening games and mid game strategies, something the soviets of his era trained specifically for? please correct me if I've got that wrong.
[1] billy jean king
Edit spelling
Typically called Chess960 or Shuffle Chess: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess960
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/dispatches/f...
http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/2005/dec/11/features....
“Much of an exile’s life is taken up with compensating for disorienting loss by creating a new world to rule,” wrote Edward Said. “It is not surprising that so many exiles seem to be novelists [and] chess players.”
Who wants to take odds on whether or not this guy stopped playing after that game? I can't even remember how many times I've said this about various activities...
The blog in question would have been perfect for this article, as it had both chess related questions, as well as articles of historical curiosity. Math articles, as well, would appear, and any sort of other kind of post that would interest folks who find these kinds of things interesting. I thought the name was related in some way to "meandering" or "useless" or something "trivia" related in the title, but I'm completely blanking.
I would have sworn up and down that I heard about this blog from an XKCD comic (the same one that brought me here 3 or 4 years ago), but when I went back to look at the comic in question, I couldn't find the blog.
I apologize if it's off-topic, but it's sort of inverse-relevant, I suppose?
[EDITED to be less diffident -- I'm at least 95% confident this is what you're thinking of.]