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Comment by paulkon | Hacker News Reader

Kids are great, but by my observation, the primary logical motivation to have them is so that one can make sense of their own existence.

It's a never ending cycle to figure out what this life is about by giving birth to life which then again must solve the same question themselves.

However, do we really understand this existential angst at its root? Or is this simply a never-ending passing of the torch?

I'm not questioning how much joy children can bring to a couple's life but I've been thinking about the non-evolutionary purpose of having children for a while and I'm not sure how to think about it.

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> However, do we really understand this existential angst at its root?

Children are a great reminder that understanding existence is irrelevant. Children don't contemplate their own existence, they simply experience and relish that existence. You can't be sure that you have any sort of purpose or destiny, but you can be sure of the ground beneath your feet and the sand between your toes. Children get that intuitively, and for a long time they can't approach life any other way.

Speak for yourself, buddy. I contemplated my existence all the time, as a child.

When I was seven, I knew that the meaning of life was to have fun.

When I was a teenager and an early twentysomething, I thought the point in life was something one figured out via philosophy and religion.

When I was 24 or so, I realized I'd understood better at seven than at 15.

Just curious -- do you have deterministic views? ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_determinism ), i.e. do you buy humans have free will?

Free will is just what it feels like to model counterfactuals in your brain. It's a feeling.

Do you buy that humans have love?

People have kids for all sorts of reasons, ranging from emotional to rational to accidental! Plus plenty of variation in parenting styles and the benefits thereof. I'm not sure there's much to say about a single purpose.

However, your ideas about the passing of the big questions to a new generation does strike a chord.

Speaking as a non-parent, the biggest mistake I see parents make is to live through their kids. I get that it's natural, partly because parents want the best for their kids and try to give them all they can, but in my opinion kids need role models more than almost anything else, and if their role models are martyrs is it any wonder that the cycle continues?

It takes wisdom to balance life as a parent with life as an adult, I'm sure it's not always easy, but I hope that if I'm ever a parent I'll remember to try, as it seems healthier for both kids and parents.

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