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Comment by darkroasted | Hacker News Reader

As an American, I've sometimes been bothered by the use of thank you. It is fine as a pleasantry at a restaurant. But it always felt odd coming from a boss or from the company CEO. I think to myself, "I didn't do this piece of work as a favor to you, I didn't because you are paying me and you told me to do it." It is interesting to read that this view is more common in other cultures. I also dislike putting "thank you" in an email, before they have agreed to do the favor or task. It feels very presumptuous. Am I crazy or do other people feel the same way.

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> a modern boss is tolerant, he behaves like a colleague of ours, sharing dirty jokes, inviting us for a drink, openly displaying his weaknesses, admitting that he is “merely human like us”. He is deeply offended if we remind him that he is our boss – however, it is this very rejection of explicit authority that guarantees his de facto power.

> This is why the first gesture of liberation is to force the master to act as one: our only defence is to reject his “warm human” approach and to insist that he should treat us with cold distance. We live in weird times in which we are compelled to behave as if we are free, so that the unsayable is not our freedom but the very fact of our servitude.

- Slavoj Žižek

I had a manager who made a practice of thanking people when they did things he had asked them to. I hadn't seen it done that assiduously before, and I rather got to like it. I try to do the same now, when appropriate.

I agree, though, that pre-thanking someone before they've done what you ask is presumptuous.

That pre-thank may be meant as "thank you for your attention to this matter" vs "thank you for doing the work".

Thanking is not used to acknowledge a favor, thanking expresses gratitude. It means your boss appreciates your effort, that he doesn't consider you a robot who does work solely for the money. Maybe he thinks you put a little bit of yourself into the work.

> he doesn't consider you a robot who does work solely for the money.

Looks like he might be wrong though.

Imagine the distance thanking someone for sex would put between you. Like the scenario you gave, it implies the other person was doing you a favor- which also implies the act wasn't totally genuine.

I grew up in North America. But I rarely thank anyone. I think I've thanked people in a work setting maybe twice in my entire career- and only because the other party was doing me a favour.

It's nice to find a higher purpose in your work. If you are paid $10 and work worth $15, you're giving of yourself for others. Work is such a big part of life, it is good to go the extra mile and serve others while you're there. Sure, you're paid for it, but your motivation can become "I'm doing this because I want my boss and the customer to have a better life."

> I also dislike putting "thank you" in an email, before they have agreed to do the favor or task. It feels very presumptuous.

You're thanking someone for taking the time to read your email, not for completing some other task. You can say "thank you for your time" or "thank you for your consideration" if that makes more sense.

The single best compliment I had from a senior manager after emailing the findings of quite an arduous 2-month project early in my career was a one word email:

"Good."

Put me on cloud nine.

I think it depends on who's doing the talking. Saying thanks more bring inflation to the term, leading to making up more terms when we really mean thanks.

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