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Comment by nosuchthing | Hacker News Reader

Aware of what?

I often find people in their 40s' to be deeply troubled, tired, and grappling for power or ego.

Anecdotally I have encountered more people in the 50s-90s range with a calmer, wiser, and altruistic awareness of self and others. I imagine it has something to do with the thought of mortality nullifying their materialistic or egoistic pursuits, and some sort of realization that we're all here together on a big rock hurdling through space so maybe baking a batch of cookies for friends is a good idea worth spending time on.

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Of course, there's plenty of people in their 40s experiencing the struggles you describe. But, as a matter of fact, I've met as many of them in the 20s and 30s range with the same problems (maybe not so tired, but troubled and egomaniac nonetheless).

In the context of entrepreneurship, however, I find that those traits are much less prominent, regardless of the age.

In my case, today I just sold my part of the company I founded 10 years ago to my cofounding partner. Not a big, glorious exit, BTW. Just the opportunity to try again, and get better results this time.

Being 46, I do feel much more aware now that I felt 10 years ago. Aware of my strengths and aware of my limits. And aware of my motivations.

However, I must confess that, ten years ago, I had the same image that you describe about fortysomethings. That's why I decided to start my own company then, to avoid becoming one of them.

(Disclaimer, or self-indictment, or something: I am in my early 40s.)

Of course we are making incredibly broad generalizations here. But what part of what you are saying is incompatible with the post to which you reply?

Self-awareness is frequently painful. Not everyone reacts the same way, or well. Personally, I do find that I'm reflecting differently than I used to on choices I've made, opportunities missed, times I've been less than the human I want to be, and it isn't all zen gardens and rainbows. People react to disappointment, shame, unfairness, etc. differently, and lashing out, trying to make up for lost time, and far more inexplicable reactions are all pretty common, I think.

Not there yet, but I certainly hope that by the time I hit my 50s, I will have gained some equanimity about the more painful things in my life.

And if not, I can always take up whacking the kids with my cane.

Meta question. I only see upvote icons for the top comment and its first child. I see both up and down vote icons for children lower than that. Can anyone explain the logic?

I understand there is some logic in the voting mechanism to prevent flame wars. But this thread is over a day old. Whatever algorithm was in place here annoyed me enough to write this "meta" post and likely get downvotes for doing so.

I think the key is the quote says "...start to become aware. It's just the beginning..." In your forties, many have teenagers or those on the cusp on college, so I think the shift is moving from provider to wanting a legacy, and what you described is the bit of turbulence that comes with that shift.

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