> On the other hand, having crossed the threshold of having more than enough money for a good life almost a decade ago, I cannot even imagine my son not earning a plentiful and permanent surplus very early on in his adult life.
If I remember correctly, the author's net worth was greatly boosted by the stock and real estate market bull market of the 90's. During that era, making an earnest living and investing aggressively in these two markets would handsomely reward you. To automatically believe that the same is true in the current era or any other future era is a dangerous assumption.
In regions with the biggest opportunities from employment, employees are increasingly priced out of the real estate rally and the tax savings home ownership affords you. Similarly, there are no guarantees on how much longer the current 5 year bull market run in the public equities market will last, and how sharp and long lasting an eventual correction will be. While it is possible for informed individuals to navigate times of volatility in the markets, it is a matter easier said than done, particularly for a young professional who has not experienced market turmoil first hand.
> And yet consider the stunning case study of the children of the nation’s uber-wealthy enclaves like Palo Alto, California. Despite incredible wealth and some of the best educational institutions money can buy, kids there are more stressed, less happy, and more likely to commit suicide than others who live with a fraction of their privilege.
The problem arises when high-achieving parents assume that their kids need to be pushed to achieve more themselves, to beat out the other high achievers and gain access to the most elite schools, in order to compete in this incredibly challenging modern world.
It's worth examining "why" these parents behave this way -- what their underlying motivations are. I'm going to simplify the situation and focus on what I believe is the largest slice of the hypercompetitive student population: the children of successful immigrants (this classification is very representative of the Palo Alto and Cupertino school districts).
The immigrant parents who are sending their children to High School now overwhelmingly came from modest means and worked their way to financial and social well being and stability. As immigrants, their situation was highly volatile, both with respect to employment and residence status. As the author himself notes, parents want their children to have it better than them. The worst part about being an immigrant? The fear of not knowing what will happen to you tomorrow. The fear of losing your job and getting deported was a very real possibility. What they want for their children is first and foremost, stability. More than pure financial EV, they wish to maximize the predictability and stability of their children's employment prospects. Status and financial returns are secondary.
Anecdotally, even self made millionaire behave this way. Read "The Millionaire Next Door," (a book primarily about small business owners with prudent spending habits who saved their way to 7 figures) and you will find that most of these self made entrepreneurs want their children to become doctors and lawyers so that they won't have to endure the volatility that the parents suffered.
How do you maximize professional stability? The narrative of "go to the best school and study a technical, skill based discipline" is actually not misguided. The problem if any is that you quickly hit precipitously decreasing marginal returns on any additional academic competitive effort. But from the parents' perspective, even "poor marginal returns" looks like a no brainer. After all, they would have loved to have that opportunity to increase their employment stability before being subjected to the economic forces themselves. The stress in children is a result of wildly differing perspectives and experiences between the immigrant parents and the child born to safety and prosperity. The parents truly want the best for their children, informed by their own experiences and difficulties. Sadly, even "the correct decision" for any person is hardly ever the correct decision for another.