Apart from all the things you point out, I also can't help but wonder - for eg. the US "1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape)."[1, numbers from 1998]

So, how those that jive with "rape fantasies"? Are we to assume that many women that have been the victim of rape, still have rape fantasies? Without going into the deep topic of coping strategies for trauma, and what is considered "normal" sexual behaviour etc -- at the very least it would seem that the "rape" in one survey isn't quite the same term as the one in the other?

To reply to the sibling comment about "legal definition of rape" -- that kind of disregards the fact that these are fantasies. Isn't there something from Freud about us being everyone in our dreams? I don't think it's wrong to claim that when you fantasise about having control of someone else, you're also fantasising about being the one in control.

As for the low numbers for men (3%), I came across an article[2] on the prison system -- that doesn't really seem to change the overall picture that much: Men are less likely to be sexually assaulted in general, while inmates (of both sexes) are more likely to assaulted.

One depressing thing that can be gleaned from the second article, is that female correction officers apparently have a higher rate of abuse of juvenile inmates. Overall, I'm not sure the article adds much to the discussion of rape fantasies -- but I add it here as it might be of interest to those that are curious about rape statistics in general.

[1] https://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assa...

[2] http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2013/oct/24/shame-o...