Ask HN: I'm terrified of death. What do I do? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: I'm terrified of death. What do I do?

27 pointsthraway_scrd49 comments

Hello HN. I'm posing this question here because I identify the most with this community and I want to see if this is common among those in my in-group.

I am in my very early 20s and I do exceedingly well for myself, even by software engineer standards. My life is overall very fulfilling and happy, with the exception of one deep rooted anxiety that comes out before I go to sleep.

Every time I try to go to sleep, I find that my mind begins contemplating death very heavily. I begin thinking about how much time I have left to live, envisioning myself growing old and feeble, and thinking about how fragile my body is. I think about how my heart could stop, or a blood vessel in my brain could hemorrhage in my sleep.

My mind also drifts to very strange things, like wondering how I would know if my consciousness is not annihilated every night, and all of my memories are not simply deposited into a new brain in a new simulation (but not "me") in the morning.

I am terrified of mortality, and despite being so young I think about it in fear every single night. I don't know why I am so fixated on it at this age.

Does anyone else have any experience with this?

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I may (or may not) have been closer to death than you. I feel 30 feet off a cliff when I was 20. I was soloing, and there was nobody around to help me. I couldn't walk, so I had to crawl out. Backtracking and returning to the right direction was going to be too difficult. I remember thinking "If I don't do the right thing, the odds are fairly good that I will die here tonight." That was... uncomfortable. Not terrifying, but not a very good feeling.

Death is coming. For most of us, most of the time, it's not staring us in the face like that, but it is coming. That's reality. Now what?

My ultimate answer: I believe that Jesus Christ rose physically from the dead, in ordinary space and time, observed and recorded by eyewitnesses, and therefore that death is not the end for me.

I recognize, however, that a bunch of people don't agree with that conclusion, and won't accept it. But for those who don't, I don't have any other answer, because I think that all other answers are ultimately inadequate. If death is the end, then the only answer that's possible is "It's coming. Deal with it." And the best way to deal with it is to try to live so that, when it comes, you don't have a lot of regrets.

Not great news for all the people that were born before Jesus.

The absence of an eternal life gives meaning to every day I'm alive.

I'm not trying to disagree; just trying to clarify how people who don't believe in an afterlife can find meaning in a life that will end with finality at some point.

never thought i'd so those words on here! Thx for sharing your faith

Is it interfering with your day to day life? (It's affecting your sleep and seems to be causing you mild distress, so "yes".)

You can use techniques like cognitive behaviour therapy to help ease the intrusive thinking.

The Australian website "Mood Gym" is a good quality site that provides computer guided CBT: https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Or there are books. I've heard "Mind over Mood" is good.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/08...

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Over-Mood-Change-Changing/dp/0898...

Or you can go see a therapist. For stuff like this you should specify a very short course - 3 sessions of an hour each - before you start, and make sure that the therapist is focussed on this specific problem.

CBT aims to help you learn your moods and the thoughts that cause them; then to think about your thoughts and the evidence you have for them; and then to think if there is other evidence, and does this new evidence reduce the intensity of the emotion. It's an iterative process.

1) Consider signing up for cryonics, if you live in the United States. The Cryonics Institute[0] and Alcor[1] both provide cryonics. It's a long shot, and dying and getting frozen is the second worst thing that can happen to you, but then, dying and not getting frozen is the worst thing.

2) I went through a similar thing in my early twenties as well. (I'm now in my late twenties.) Right around the time it happened, I had been trying to quit caffeine and was being irregular about it; no coffee some days, two/three cups other days. I'm pretty sure that that was the source of what I now think were a few panic attacks around that time. Those led to difficulty sleeping just as you describe. So if you have changed any such habits recently, maybe consider developing more regular sleep/exercise habits. I am not a doctor, your situation may be different. See a doctor, follow the advice of other people here about seeing a therapist for CBT.

[0] http://www.cryonics.org/ [1] http://www.alcor.org/

Death seems to make everything meaningless.

Religions provide relief through the Afterlife. However, even the scientific-minded often follow some kind of dogma: the current models are misrepresented as reality itself. Many mathematicians don't regard math as mere language, but as the Truth. Many computer scientists think we live inside a computation.

Illuminists thought the universe to be a giant clock.

We also follow our own storytelling. Western culture describes life and the universe as a dramatic arch. We don't just learn from stories, we live them.

Forget everything you know. Reality is not meaningful nor meaningless. Dualism is yet one of many fallacies we are intrinsically tied to. Every thought becomes dogma. to have, to be, not is dogma. There's no escape from our perceptual model.

Reality is. or maybe isn't. The more you try to describe it, the more you get trapped into your own box. Enjoy the ride.

  Sarai un fiocco di neve che non cade in nessun posto.

  You will be a snowflake that does not fall anywhere.

> Religions provide relief through the Afterlife

That perspective is normally a Christian influenced one. Not all religions offer an Afterlife (and in some, the one offered is just another repeat in a different form based on how well you did previously).

Other comments make what I think is probably the best advice here. If you're finding thoughts of death (or anything) are causing you disturbance and anxiety, you need to consider professional support you feel is helpful. This can most certainly be religious but it is sensible to also find a good counseling service as, sometimes, these things are not so much a religious need but caused by something you need to work out in a manner distinct from religion.

You are at an age when many people suffer from degrees of mental health episodes. It's relatively normal and not a big deal if you get some support. Almost all move on from it, perhaps a little wiser for the experience of knowing that life's not so black and white as it is as a child & adolescent.

When my wife died, death lost all of its teeth for me. It's not worth the price, but losing someone you love pretty much solves the fear thing. The valley of the shadow is a scary rollercoaster on the way in. But on the way out, it's just barren and lonely. Not scary at all.

More practically, there are some tricks that can make this fear go away. I've seen experienced psychotherapists help people with this quickly. If you can afford a couple of sessions and don't mind the stigma, you might get some quick, long lasting relief.

And here's a trick. It works for me, but not others. Einstein and physics say we live in a space-time continuum. The past and the future are just different points, different places.

What you've done already, where you've been, what you've felt, these constellations in space-time are eternal. There's nothing that can erase them. They happened, and nothing that happens in the future can change that.

Your five year old self lasts forever, but is also gone forever. So is your nine year old self. You are immortal and your are ephemeral. Both, at every moment. In that light, death is nothing different at all. You've been doing it just fine all this time.

When I had my wisdom teeth removed as a kid, I was absolutely terrified about the metaphysical consequneces of general anesthesia, so I know where you're coming from... Here are a few thoughts

- Think of the universe not as evolving through time, but as a static spacetime structure. You are part of this structure... you do not have infinite time extent, but neither do you have infinite space extent, and that's fine. The past isn't gone, you're just not experiencing it, but it exists.

- Read up on Tegmark's mathematical universe theory.

My opinion is that you should seek out a mental health professional, spiritual advisor, or both. This may be the side effect of something else in your life, and an objective third party can often help you to identify it.

These types of problems affect everyone at some point (and often times, multiple points) in their life, which is why so many people turn to drugs, alcohol, or any other of a myriad of addictive substances and behaviors.

The crux of my opinion is this: You are normal, and the fact that you experience unwanted feelings is normal. Sadly, it is also normal for people to internalize these feelings and be crippled by them in some way, rather than simply seek out someone who can help them. What I want for you is to overcome it. Please do talk to someone, so that you can clear your mind, have better understanding of your personal goals, and go on to even greater things!

Some studies have shown that having a psychedelic experience (via LSD or Psilocin) can have a significant and lasting positive impact on existential anxiety.

I, for one, can say that LSD cured my depression and seriously alleviated my anxiety.

I run into this quite often as well. I always calm myself with the thought that once I do die, I won't know that I'm dead, so all will be well. It's only during life that we have to deal with the concept of death. All of the fear/pain/depression surrounding thoughts of death are only experienced while we're alive, and they are pointless to hold on to, because generally, we can't change the fact that we all die- so why worry about it.

I much prefer this to the Christian idea of the afterlife, to which I used to adhere (due to my upbringing). That used to plague me mentally far more than the idea of "non-existence" does. Hell is a rough concept that can keep one awake at night. I'm glad I left that behind.

Sounds a lot easier to disregard these thoughts than it is though, because I still think about it from time to time, but I feel like it's just a fact of life that we have to think about it ending sometimes. Maybe it's good, maybe for at least some of us, that thought keeps us pressing forward, making the most of the time we DO have and trying to extend it as much as possible (via health, enjoying experiences, being good to others, etc)

I guess, what I'm saying, is that worrying about what is inevitable is mostly a waste of time.

I went through a period like this, not long after 9/11 and the Anthrax scare. It eventually just went away with time.

Then I had a heart-attack last Nov, and could easily have died. Now, anytime I feel even the slightest niggle of chest pain or discomfort, it's hard not to think about the possibility of dying. It's frustrating, but mostly the way I deal with it is two-fold:

1. I remind myself that it doesn't really matter. Once I'm dead, I won't be in a position to care about being dead. Of course, I'm an atheist who doesn't believe in any sort of "after life", so I look at dying as just going to sleep - for a REALLY long time.

2. I remind myself that I'm fairly content with the life I've lived up to this point. I am not in any hurry to die and I have unfulfilled dreams still, yeah, but I also recognize that I've done a lot of what I want to do, and I've done things on my own terms as much as I possibly could. I've done some things I'm not proud of, and haven't been perfect, but I feel like "when I die, I have no real regrets, nothing to feel bad about".

Anyway, I guess many (most?) people go through a period of dwelling on their mortality. If you're lucky, it'll probably pass in time.

I don't know why I am so fixated on it at this age.

Maybe a family member of friend died? Or you saw a TV news report about some kind of tragedy involving many deaths? Some kind of stimulus like that could potentially have prompted the whole thing. For me it really was the 9/11 attacks and all the reporting about the Anthrax scare immediately afterwards.

> I don't know why I'm so fixated on it at this age.

I'll also say that it's not crazy for it to be an early age. Just because you have your "whole life ahead of you" doesn't literally mean you'll live to experience all of it. Maybe a deeper fear is not accomplishing some level you want before you might end up dying.

In this case I think Steve Jobs gives the best advice in his Stanford speech for this type of reason.

There are scientists who are trying to "cure" death. I don't know if it will happen in our lifetime, but it's possible. http://theimmortalists.com/

I, too, don't want to die, but I don't let it impair my day-to-day thinking.

Realize that it will happen or it will not, but what matters is the moment. Spending your whole life afraid of dying is not living - it's just as bad as spending your whole life waiting for a better afterlife.

This is important: Solipsistic thoughts (e.g. "What if I'm not really controlling my actions? What if I'm just a machine? What if I die every night and wake up a different person?") are pretty common in those with anxiety disorders. It sounds like you might have one. I'd recommend you talk to a qualified mental health professional. There are strategies for dealing with these thoughts and feelings that could make your life much more enjoyable.

I also used to have this kind of existential thoughts from time to time... until I discovered Zen and Meditation. It worked wonders. The latest studies say that meditation can even shape our neural connections at the physical level, and I'm completely sure it does. You don't need to go to psychotherapists so they can unleash CBT on you, you just need to open your mind and reframe your way of thinking.

Give this a go before moving onto other options: when you have some free time to be relaxed and alone, put your headsets on, and try to listen to this yt playlist [0], if possible with some nice zen music in the background [1] (at half volume)...

Easy and cheap.. =)

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCOVusLqXmk&list=PLD7C829295...

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6-DmV4dhek

You are going to die someday. Billions before you have died, and billions will die. It's part of life.

There, that wasn't so hard!

None of the people that have died wanted to die : The desire to stay alive is an evolutionary gift, your fear of death is natural. Especially while you are so young.

Fear of death is natural! Congratulations, you're a successful biological organism! YAAAAY. Get up and dance!

I see you're very bright, because of your imaginative projections of lifes permutations (although quite dark) - but remember, fear is the burden of imagination, but your intellect can help you bare it.

I grant you that it is entirely possible that a brain haemorrhage will kill you in the night. It's possible a plane will crash into your house and flatten you. Its possible the lottery ticket you got was a winning one. But none of these are very likely. We KNOW that. It's just a numbers game.

Enjoy your life. challenge your imagination to come up with positive outcomes rather than negative ones. Imagine if we could load our brains into a robot and live forever! How do you think a mind would react to different situations if it was 1000 years old and had seen 5 world wars? What conclusions might this mind come to when it meets your 20 year old self now? What would you ask it? If you were that mind, what would you ask yourself?

Dont answer immediately, think for 5 minutes, and when a thought comes into your mind, ask "why did I have that thought", "what does that thought mean with respect to the future", "how can I take this idea further"

let your mind wander, but keep it from getting stuck in darker places. Dark places are fine, but dont dwell.

Joke. Laugh. Humor always emcompasses a wider perspective.

"The beauty of life, is that it repeats" -- David Attenborough

> My mind also drifts to very strange things, like wondering how I would know if my consciousness is not annihilated every night, and all of my memories are not simply deposited into a new brain in a new simulation (but not "me") in the morning.

I've had this exact same thing ever since I was a young child. It's gotten a bit better as I've grown older, but I used to get pretty severe insomnia from the fear that my "self" would be destroyed when I lost consciousness and the "self" that awoke would simply be a perfect duplicate.

Hi OP, I'm the same. I work out and keep myself in good shape, but tend to let my brain wander to thoughts like what if my heart just stops. I can't engineer a solution for myself, but I will be fully conscious of the fact that my body is failing me. It's terrifying, and you're not alone.

I don't have the right answers for you because I'm in a very similar position, but I can try to relieve parts of your existential anxiety. I used to think how crappy it was when you read on the news that some innocent bystander got shot or a freak accident occurred and someone died and how that could've been me. Ultimately, we should only worry about the things we have complete or partial control over. We are all susceptible to heart attacks, but we can also mitigate its probability through healthy diet and exercise. We are all susceptible to getting shot, but we can also mitigate its probability by choosing where we spend our time.

There will always be things we have no control over, but we should only concern ourselves with the things we do.

I would also recommend checking out "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy"[1] by William B. Irvine. It's been suggested on HN occasionally and it offers a philosophy on death as well as what I mentioned above (letting go of things you don't have control over).

[1] http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...

Not using my main account for this.

I have OCD and a general anxiety disorder. Around 15 years ago, I had a huge relapse with this "existential anxiety". I didn't know what do do, I stayed up at night in fear.

I talked about it with my psychiatrist and went on an SSRI. Now I approach death with "why care"? When I'm dead I'm dead, there's nothing to do about it. Until then why waste time worrying and I can just live life instead.

Coming to terms with death is an essential part of growing up. A prolonged engagement with the thought of impermanence and death adjusts your value system and life objectives, allowing you to identify what is really important in life and to avoid wasting your time on trivialities. Embrace the process, and it will eventually run its course, leaving you a far wiser man.

I have been where you are.

Constantly gauging the aging people around me, anecdotally trying to gain evidence as to what makes the longer-lived live longer.

Understand a few things:

1. It's natural to fear death 2. Fear is a motivator to protect us 3. We can't protect ourselves from the inevitable 4. Everyone who lives will experience death

Because of these three things, we can start to understand that our anxiety about death, while well-intentioned, can become irrational. We convince ourselves that we have the power to prevent death, because we have the power to prevent or treat many diseases. In this way, death is treated as unnatural. We see death as the end of consciousness, and we fear it because of our instinct.

I, like AnimalMuppet and others on this thread, am a religious person (Christian with some extensively explored views on deism, Calvanism, etc). This gives me a sense of hope, that consciousness and being have meaning beyond my seemingly short life.

Our brains are tricky things. We convince ourselves of non-truths often. Understanding that our brains are not our "selves", that indeed we can view the brain as a part of the whole, we can begin to externalize the strange occurrences in our brains and study them more objectively.

This objective study of the mind helps us separate our "self" from the body altogether. For me, this is my true identity and spirit, that feel altogether out of place in a frail body.

Consider meditation. Certainly get exercise; it will help you become healthier, and reduce anxiety (proven in study after study). Accept inevitabilities, and focus on the moment you are in now.

If you would like to talk more about faith and religion, I and I'm certain others on this thread would be happy to discuss it with you!

Perhaps watch some horror or apocalyptic film? Many of the best in those genres deal with death and meaning in death. When I was a kid I avoided all of it as I found the depictions scary. Now I find some release in seeing how the characters approach the topic, and some inspiration to continue working towards the "life well lived".

OP here. Thank you everyone for your kind words and genuine suggestions. Your replies have encouraged me to seek professional help, and I'm going to look into cognitive behavioral therapy to try and improve my outlook and anxiety.

I'm glad that Hacker News as a community is able to come together and help with topics like this. It means a lot.

This pretty much describes my experiences so far. I've gotten better at not thinking about it, but sometimes when I'm extremely tired I think about those exact things you do, with the addition of wether or not my consciousness exists elsewhere in addition to myself, or anywhere at all. I eventually just decided it wasn't worth thinking about (which was hard!) and try to avoid it as much as possible. What happens, happens.

Also, we are making great advancement in medical areas to keep us functional and able into old age, which I think is encouraging. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live forever either, so I think I'll try to make as much of an impact as I can while I'm still here.

Edit: When I was younger, I wondered if my parents were actually different people every day. That was weird.

Here's what I do. Do things to improve your sleep, so you go to sleep faster rather than ruminating. Best case, things like small amount of exercise daily, cutting caffeine in the afternoon, improving diet, setting a regular bed and wake time, or if you have to, tryptophan pills.

Dear thraway_scrd,

Your fear of dying and the circumstances that may lead to your death is the most human and existential of fears.

"Does anyone else have any experience with this?" you ask.

Who doesn't?

You should have confidence in your ability to quell this fear using the insight and the candor (and who knows what other gifts) you clearly have at your disposal. This message is an excellent and gutsy step forward.

But you are right to be concerned if this fear preoccupies you and keeps you from sleeping. There is no good reason not to reach out for more substantial, structured and consistent support.

I really believe it's worth asking for and getting help to marginalize this perfectly normal but potentially crippling fear.

Make the fear of death and dying your bitch -- and not the other way around.

Yeah, it bothers me too and I think about it a lot. I've tried reading eastern philosophy and various opinions on that, but they all seem like rationalozations of people trying to comfort themselves.

One thing I want to tell you - don't think that there's something wrong with you because you are afraid of death. Many people cope by trying to convince themselves that "death is okay, and may, in fact, be a good thing", and it all sounds deep and wise, but it doesn't really make any sense. It's okay to be scared/frustrated/angry when thinking about it.

From everything that I've read and thought about, I've concluded, that if we cut the shit and ignore all the pretentious philosophy and rationalizations, all it comes down to is "try not to think about it and enjoy living your life right now".

When you are a kid you don't think about death, but once you comprehend it it is shocking and depressing, but over time I guess you just get used to the thought, and learn to focus on work/friends/etc and enjoy the life that you have.

I think that humans will cure death eventually, and it makes sense to do everything in our power to fight it. I suggest you check out Eliezer Yudkowsky and the transhumanist community for a lot of interesting ideas on that(like cryonics).

Once you have done everything in your powers to avoid dying(healthy lifestyle, wise choices, etc, etc) - there's no rational reason to keep thinking depressing thoughts, so you just learn to control your thoughts better, so that you wouldn't ruminate on it pointlessly. It's not a solution, but it's the best you can do at this point.

I suggest learning meditation, so that you can learn to stop the scary and pointless thought patterns, and avoid upsetting yourself for no reason.

Find great books, fun hobbies, cool friends to have something fun to do instead of obsessing about depressing stuff.

Watch stand up comedy and great sitcoms, comedy is an amazing solution to this. Check out Louis CK and tv show Community. There's something incredibly beautiful about comedy, if things get bad it really saves my sanity, can't recommend it highly enough. If you are really down - watch a few episodes of Community, laugh your ass off, and it will get better =)

Also, I very much recommend you to read HPMOR. It has a lot of very interesting thoughts on the topic, it is just very bright and beautiful and interesting book. It won't solve the problem but I feel like it really helps.

I'm not an expert with that subject, because nobody is able to answer this question properly.

I think you are afraid about the meaning of life. Some people figured it out by adopting a religion, which most of the time offer a mission, a goal to achieve. In this sense, death appears to be pretty harmless. But guys like you and me can't solve this problem because ANYBODY has the truth about this. The fear of the unknown is frightening.

My advice is that you can't decide when you will die. Your only field of action is the way you live at this moment. Where are you going to (regarding your life's goals)?

Good luck!

One thing that can help w/dealing with a fear is to envision what happens after the worst happens; don't just stop at death, but what happens then? Try and follow it through In your mind with as much detail as you can. If you don't believe in an afterlife, then death will just be be nothing: no pain, no anxiety.

Modern psychotherapies like cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness are very good at deing with fears of specific things, and just talking about these things with someone where you won't feel judged can be very helpful.

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present" -- Marcus Aurelius

Maybe spend some time researching the goth subculture if you don't know much about it. Not just online, perhaps try to participate by going to a local club and talking to people for additional insight. It's mostly aesthetic - music and fashion - but it might give you some perspective or desensitize you somewhat. Alternatively, therapists may be available whom specialize in this sort of thing.

You were dead before you were born, dying is merely reverting back to that state ...

I believe that death is exactly what makes life worthwile. Everything is temporal, literally everything. In the grand scheme of things nothing really matters as we will all die anyway.

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” - Mark Twain

Are you afraid of the process of dying or afraid of being dead? Those are two slightly different things. I hope you can take comfort in the idea that after you are dead, you're really not going to be worrying about anything at all. You won't care about anything. You will feel the same as you did before you were born.

Being afraid of the process of dying I think is a very natural feeling. Saying goodbye permanently to everyone you know is heartbreaking and we don't really know the amount of pain we will feel when we eventually move through that process.

But again, once it's over, you'll no longer care.

Some things you can do to fight your fear of death...

- Understand that no one escapes

- It is mostly luck to be remembered by a large number of people. You are one in a billion so stop trying to think you need to be Steve Jobs (if you do think that, that is). You will likely, like the rest of us, be remembered by only those close to you.

- In line with that, stop pursuing things you don't enjoy for recognition. It's a bad gamble. If you succeed you'll have recognition (and the odds are very against that). If you fail, you'll have spent time doing something you didn't like anyway. If you do things you enjoy, even if you don't get recognition, you are guaranteed to have enjoyed the time spent exploring them.

- Add to the momentum of human progress, however small your contribution. You are part of all of us moving forward, smashing atoms to advance our knowledge of the universe.

- Savor everything. From the day you were born, your wallet has been open and your money is spilling out. Might as well direct it toward things you enjoy. At the end of your life, whether or not you enjoyed it is entirely up to you and you alone to judge. It is out of everyone else's hands. Keeping that thought of your eventual death close will help you to savor.

- Take in the idea that you are lucky to even be alive. The odds of you being you out of all the sperm in the world are unbelievably against you existing at all. You have the gift of life like you won the lottery and you get to do with it, whatever you want, as do others.

- There is a liberation is believing in no afterlife. No one is watching over your shoulder, judging what you do. Your life is your own and then it's over.

Savor.

I've experienced exactly this. I dealt with it by getting into the habit of going to sleep with something playing in the background. The radio, when I was younger. Lately it's been Seinfeld episodes on my phone (facedown to keep the light from disturbing my sleep) . It's enough of a distraction to break up the train of thought, but not distracting enough to keep me awake.

I have a feeling, you have not seen death from close quarters. Once you have seen it up close, you kinda of get used to it. Also it is little unusual to think so much about death at such an young age and these may be signs of spiritual inclinations. And you could consider surfing few books (Buddhism, Zen Koans etc).

See Montaigne's experience with the same fear:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/17/...

You must embrace reckless abandon. The idea of memories being deposited into a new brain simulation sounds pretty out there. There are plenty of remote possibilities that you could never disprove in life. Most people don't think about them. It sounds slightly paranoid.

What about doing some contact fighting sports like jiu jitsu or muay thai or maybe even boxing? This will quickly teach you that your body isn't as fragile as you think it is, it will raise your pain tolerance and give you some confidence.

Philosophy to the rescue! (sort of) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existentialism

Build a way to backup our brain+body. Do backups daily/weekly/monthly and store them in various locations. If you die, tell your family to restore from backup.

I also recommend a psychedelic experience. Perhaps a 3-day Ayahuasca ceremony. Ayahuasca (known as the "Vine of the Dead") will allow you to experience what it feels like to die, but you will come back with perspective. Ayahuasca is a powerful hallucinogenic, similar to LSD, but the active ingredient is DMT. Check out the documentary called "DMT: The Spirit Molecule", and also the extended interviews, which can be found on YouTube.

Religion might help you . It definitely help me ! Next time you feel this way just pray and the fear will go away.

I had a period of fairly morbid thinking around the time I was in a serious car accident, days after my 18th birthday. I spent a few weeks in terror of getting in a car. When I saw someone driving unsafely I would have minor flashbacks to the accident, which I barely remembered consciously.

I moved past it by forcing myself to confront the fears directly. That was easier in my case than yours, since it had roots in a very physical phenomenon. I don't have any advice for you necessarily, but you're definitely not alone in your thinking.

Maybe one piece of advice - it could be worth talking to a therapist about the possibility of depression. I'm not convinced that is the case by any means, but it's often a very subtle and insidious condition that can color your thoughts.

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