The proper way, I believe, is to just have the student learn the concept by rote. If you can't grasp conceptually why 8+3=11 then you should just memorize it.
After repeating enough times, eventually it will click and you'll understand it.
Additionally, there's no point in trying to teach the concepts of arithmetic. You'll be crippled trying to learn things like decimals, fractions, exponents or god forbid algebra or calculus if whenever you have to add you have to be "making ten" in your head. It needs to be memorized.
I believe this also holds true up to even much more complicated concepts than basic arithmetic.
For example, I find if I don't understand the proof of some theorem in one of my math classes, if I just copy it out of the book by rote, (translating the notation line by line to something I'm more comfortable with) then I sometimes will suddenly understand it.
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Addendum: I believe Kumon has a good method for teaching math. They put a very strong focus on a rock solid understanding of basic concepts. If things haven't changed, they give kids timed problem sets of basic problems to solve (memorize) with the expectation of 100% accuracy.