Microsoft Announces Azure Data Lake, a Data Repository for Big Data Analytics

It's like a Glacier had a meltdown! In California, it's all dried up! No lifeguard on duty; beware of sharks! It's like the cloud crashed! Rough seas lie ahead! To set up a data retention policy, right-click -> properties -> configure dynamic water conservation! Well, I guess this is how they deal with the rising tide! "A place to dump all your crap"! Tell your data to walk the plank! Your data will be swimmin' with the fishes! When the data evaporates, performance can really bog down! A good solution if you're swamped with data! I wonder how they handle marsh-alling! "We can help increase your data liquidity"! When it breaks, you'll yell "dam"! A great way to shore up your big data needs! A great place for a lawsuit fishing expedition! "The data were lost at sea, sir"! Maybe they're just trolling! This is their answer to Google Wave! Tributaries include the River Styx! They really caught the market off guard! I wonder if it works with Docker! More "S.O.S." than S3! Call their sales team if you're interested in a deep-dive! They'll sell you hook, line, and sinker! Great for product launches! I bet this can provide some deep insights! Data recovery is now known as search and rescue! I wonder if this falls under DMCA safe harbor! If nautical nonsense be something you wish, jump on a conf call and blub like a fish!

> but like the "butt" terminology, I die a little bit every time one of these marketing terms gets coined.

There's a silver lining: the developer for the Cloud to Butt Plus extensions can have more work.

works now