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Comment by dagw | Hacker News Reader

You have to wonder at the mentality of someone who wouldn't be there for their kid.

Some people rationalize it with that making sure their kid lives in a nice house in a nice neighborhood, goes to a great school, has access to all the latest gadgets and gets to to travel the world is the best thing they can do for their kids. And if the cost is that they have to work 14 hour days and hardly ever see their kids then that is a sacrifice they're willing to step up and make.

No saying I agree, but I can certainly see how you could convince yourself that working an 80 hour week is you doing the best thing for your kids and family.

Furthermore while I agree with (having done so myself) saying "Take a pay cut, do less hours.", it is only easy when you are already essentially rich. If "take a pay cut" meant I would have to move my family into a tiny apartment in the shitty part of town I probably wouldn't have such a cavalier attitude about it.

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There is also the fact that for some careers there is no intermediate state between success and failure -- no "not being promoted", only continual success or a lack of a job (recruiting and finance spring to mind).

In those careers where there is in fact an intermediate state, it can feel as though it is very narrow and difficult to stay in.

While the parent getting more pay may not really be important to a child, their long-term job security could prove to be essential.

We're not poor or anything, but I've never met a family that could choose to work less. It doesn't take 80 hours every week, but when they call you on Saturday (or even Sunday), there is no choice.

I live in Middle Europe.

Which country?

The central Europe countries that I know (Germany, Austria, Switzerland, etc.) and western-Europe coutries (France, Great Britain, etc.), there is a choice and most don't work on Saturday or even Sunday (except for certain jobs like DevOps/Admins, restaurants/hotels, factory workers with shifts, etc.). But in some of these countries you also cannot go shopping during the night (shops are only opened from about 9 am to 7 pm) nor on Sunday. You are not allowed to work more than specific hours per week. And even doctors with shifts that last more than 8 hours have several scheduled sleep hours.

Hungary. I know life is different in the countries you mentioned -- lots of people flee from here to Germany and the UK.

Middle Europe sounds like non Western europe?

I live there-ish too, and it depends on the country.

My guess is Poland. All the poles I've met are quite ticky about being call "Eastern Europe".

When I worked in an office in the UK flexitime was very common, and seems much more so. Many people would balance work and life by doing 4 long days and then taking a 3 day weekend. Some would build up flexi credit to take extra weeks of holiday. Provided you were working effectively then great flexibility was allowed, flexi priveleges could be removed for under performance (well below average).

My wife and I chose to work less by starting our own business so we could spend lots of time with our kids when they were pre-schoolers. It's kinda backfiring a bit now. We are most definitely poor financially.

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