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Serious question: do they sometimes ban offenders from using phones or books?

They apparently even stop them using a payphone in prison in case they launch nuclear missiles by whistling.

It's the US. They sometimes kill offenders with drone strikes or disappear them into torture camps.

Sometimes those targeted aren't even offenders.

Should the 101st airborne have been comprised of lawyers trying to serve criminal complaints behind Normandy Beach?

It's not a war and you aren't the good guys. Deal with it.