Tea with strangers
teawithstrangers.com
teawithstrangers.com
Lots of gratitude for all the good words and valuable critiques.
I have a personal interest in expanding into India and nearby areas, given my family background and a lot of nonprofit work I've done in the past, but we definitely have more operational challenges to sort out before we can focus intently on international expansion with an appropriate amount of tact and attention. In time!
Really great idea, I mean. Good luck with that.
http://www.teawithstrangers.com/hostingDidn't realize this was going to be on HN today, and did NOT plan for such amazing traffic. Everything we do is spread via word of mouth, so we don't face these issues as much as we have been today!
Although we avoid mystical, religious, or occult contexts, I do think it's important to understand the shared soil from which a lot of these things rise. It's helpful to have some common glue for a community to center around, especially when it involves some notion of what it means to be 'good' in the societies we live in. For lots of people, that comes in the form of some spirit or beyond-tangible belief.
With TWS, we assume that the people around us give us more than enough to believe in. (But if we were to get into it, I'd likely argue that's what most mystical or religious groups are about on some level. But let's not get into it :).
TWS is a great crew of people, and Ankit's a great community leader. Both the normal small group events, and the rare big community ones have only been positive.
You should go to one and if it seems like your... cup of tea... consider becoming a host
Oh, and if you want to see what he's talking about, here are some pictures https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.785821618171086.10...
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One of my favorite experiences ever. I've lived in NY my whole life, and that was the first time it truly felt like a community. It was over 100 people, and everyone was just open to meeting new people.
10/10 would go again.
(P.S., The creator, Ankit, is awesome.)
In time.
"Quality" might sound snobby or something so let me qualify... people who are intelligent, people who are motivated, people who have a sense of humor, people who aren't dishonest with intent to take unfair advantage of others, people who take basic care of their personal hygiene and fitness, people who are open minded (i.e. not racist etc), people who don't have chronic hard drug habits, people who are not religious fundamentalists or involved with some fringe political ideology, people who are interested and interesting....
All of these (or lack thereof) are deal breakers in my book. Call me uncharitable, but I'd rather be by myself than associate with them. I've met too many people in life who have simply wasted my time or taken from me without giving back. Where are the quality people? Make an app for that and I'm on board!
I'm so sorry this is something you thought you had to outline.
I do think it's worth noting that everyone has a lot of quality when you actually believe them into it (also known as Pygmalion Effect [see http://psych.wisc.edu/braun/281/Intelligence/LabellingEffect..., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmalion_effect])
One of the reasons we keep a curated community of hosts is because we think a lot of our belief in others is a function of situational notions of normalcy. Good hosts create a sense of norm by being the first to take that leap of faith on the people around them. What does taking that leap of faith look like? Welcoming strangers with double high fives, looking them in the eye when they talk, asking questions with a genuine interest in what the others have to say, and trusting them enough to share oneself with them, for starters.
These norms set the environment on fire. It's what makes the air at anything Tea With Strangers different from the air in most gatherings of strangers. Breathe it in for a little bit and everyone begins to find interest in each other because layers that make people 'strangers' begin to get peeled very quickly. That is, unless you're holding your breath.
Quality people believe in the quality of people in mind and in action. And that's one of the reasons we think TWS works. Because it attracts people who don't hold their breath. Upward spiral!
High fives, Ankit
P.S. Quality might sound snobby, so let me qualify:
Everyone is smarter about something than you are.
Everyone has been motivated to do something you haven't.
Everyone laughs at something. It's one of the two more fundamental human emotions (i.e. babies either laugh or cry when they express emotion. This isn't lost as we grow.).
Everyone has an interest in themselves because we want to be taken care of (see: Maslow's Hierarchy), but sometimes people have circumstances that make them distrustful of others. You have an opportunity to empathize and understand that there's a reason for that that are beyond your understanding unless you take interest in others without wanting to take unfair advantage of them yourself.
Everyone's mind is as open as their life's circumstances have conditioned them to be. If and when you interact with someone – even if by sharing physical space – you are a part of their life's circumstances.
Everyone is interesting.
If they're in your area definitely be sure to try an attend an event, I know I will be assuming I ever beat the waitlist in San Francisco.
Is there such a thing? Turns out there are quite a few, as I just discovered with a quick search. Any HN readers have good experiences with any of them?
I just tried one briefly, and had a string of disconnects after just 'hello', and then one that didn't want to reveal the country they currently live in, after which I gave up.
Can't wait to do it again!
When I moved to SF ~10y ago, you could get tea or coffee with strangers by walking into a cafe, but it's become taboo to talk to strangers in public when sober.
Every culture that has tea will have flavored teas. It gives you something to do with the low-grade leaves. Just last night I tried ginseng oolong for the first time. Is it as artificial as earl grey?
"Tea flavoured with bergamot to imitate the more expensive types of Chinese tea has been known in England at least since the 1820s. In 1837 there is a record of court proceedings against Brocksop & Co. who were found to have supplied tea 'artificially scented, and, drugged with bergamot in this country.'"
Yes, I'm quite a big fan of oolong flavored with osmanthus; haven't tried ginger.
But generally, no. Haven't had any trouble on this front, thankfully!
Any European city with more than 100k people could work! But for that there are one million facebook groups (which usually tend to make grill and barbecues with strangers; usually foreigners in the city).
[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_tea_consum...
(Also next time I'm in New York, come to one of my tea times. Would be cool to exchange high fives. Maybe a hug if I'm real lucky.)