Some people find joy in different things. It seems that at this juncture of your life you are trying to analyze what and why you are doing what you are doing and where do you want to end up. I feel that I am to young and inexperienced to be giving this kind of advice, add to that the fact that I don't know you and I don't like to give generalized advice. If I was in your case, I'd like to think that I would do what my heart is telling me to do. If I do that, I will know that I will be happy if I follow that path and because of that, it will reflect towards my family. If I am a creator and I don't create, I will be a sad panda. Good luck for you with whatever choice you make.