Well you're not alone... got a lot of commentary to this post, eh? My small datapoint that helps me to some degree at my moments of 'life dispair' is my 'hobby', a small sailboat. Just big enough to sleep in, it's not an expensive yacht, heck it cost $500 at an auction. But, what it does for me in this context is give a real 'out', I could theoretically climb on and head south, right, that wouldn't happen but it gives the mind a moment of escape. It's also my learning boat, for the round the world trip once the kid is out of college... That may happen. Hang in there, you'll find your way.