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Comment by msandford | Hacker News Reader

I'd like to borrow 100 trillion dollars please. I won't actually do anything with it, so you don't need to worry about my credit or ability to repay. In fact, I'll happily keep it in my account at your bank!

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I think if you don't have 100 trillion in assets to secure the loan with they might not give you the favorable rates that people got on these mortgages.

Do the 100 trillion in assets have to be marked to market, or can I make up whatever price I'd like and they have to accept it as valid? If it's the latter, that'll be no problem at all!

I expect the banks would want to value the assets themselves.

I know, I'm making a tongue-in-cheek reference to the banking crisis in 2008 where for a time the banks didn't have to mark their assets to market, but were instead allowed to hold them at "other" valuations.

You could probably take my stolid inability to get the joke as some sort of commentary on the quality of the humor.

(which sounds really hostile, I'm feeling lazy about phrasing it better, I don't mean it to be hostile, of course humor is subjective, blah, blah, blah)

Mark-to-market really is the best thing since sliced bread -- until you end up with a liquidity crisis and the only market left is fire-sale prices, in which case it just amplifies the crisis and (further?) undermines the entire notion of banks being risk-tolerant entities who are in business for the long haul instead of just chasing after the next quarter's results.

Much like in 2008.

This isn't a problem with an easy answer.

That works awesome until there is a bail-in like Cyprus and Austria, then you are pretty well screwed, something like a 40% hair cut on your trillion $ will make you run for the tums.

If I'm not mistaken the reason interest rates are so low and the dollar so high is because people are looking for a safe place to put their money where they wont get a hair cut if the bank fails.

Don't worry, I'll be shipping every dollar over 100 trillion out daily to a place where it's harder to get at. If they want their 100 trillion back they can have it. If they want the money that's already left the country, well, I already spent it all! Whoops!

I'll happily keep it in my account at your bank!

Excellent. The interest rate on that account is -3%, but please make sure you maintain a minimum balance of $100 trillion, or we will need to foreclose on your firstborn.

Perfect! I'm in a head-I-win-tails-you-lose situation since I don't have kids. Is this what it's like being a bank? I like it.

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