The problem is that people have different incentives. Some people want to build a great product, and some people want to get VC funding and sell for tons of money. Silicon Valley has taught me that these two incentives are surprisingly not aligned.
With the low barrier to entry for tech products and the millions of VC funding being thrown around, the amount of "wantrepreneurs" has been steadily increasing, and therefore it's reasonable to be cautious about networking.
I absolutely agree with this. I do a lot of freelance content marketing/SM work and networking and meeting people is a huge part of building my business - the more people I know, the more we can connect each other with other people.
Also, I prefer to meet new people through my existing network through intros and friend of friends rather than startup network events.
I'm sure we've all met that guy who might legitimately have a mental problem. You can usually tell early on because their idea is something really out-there. I'm talking on the order of "make an engine that works by blasting lightning out of the back", as just one example from my own experience.
The problem is that they tend to not know the difference between polite chit-chat and real interest, so any level of interaction above straight-up ignoring them makes you permanently their "buddy".
I'm sympathetic to their plight and I want to be polite and not cut people completely out of the conversation. They don't deserve to be treated poorly, they don't deserve to be ridiculed. But I'm also not a charity or a community outreach program for people with high-functioning autism. I'm not there to be their babysitter so everyone else at the event can get their worth out of it. I'm there for the event.
I don't know what it's like for you in SV, maybe you have better filters for these kinds of people, but out here on the east coast, there has been at least one in almost every meetup I've been to.
I really like it when the events include a brief, round-circle intro period. Some general behavioral signs that I try to avoid:
1) bodily or facial ticks, like hand contortions.
2) obvious poor hygiene, like greasy, dandruffy hair or food stains around the mouth or on the shirt, very wrinkled clothing, shirt only half tucked.
3) very bad fashion sense, i.e. dirty sneakers with khaki pants (AKA The Ugliest Pants Known to Man) and a polo shirt (AKA The Ugliest Shirt Known to Man), or cargo shorts (pulled up too high) and conference swag t-shirt at an event where everyone else is wearing dress shirts and jeans.
3) lack of direct eye contact when speaking.
4) a sense of near-panic (different than garden-variety nervousness, you get the feeling this person is going to bolt at any second if someone says something wrong) when speaking.
5) either talks far too loudly or far too quietly for the situation.
6) (as previously mentioned) a project idea that verges on fantasy.
7) Near-complete lack of useful skills, or mentions attending "code bootcamp" to "get into programming". This applies to anyone, even normal people who pass all of the previous points, just to avoid a different type of time-burglar.
I know this sounds insensitive and discriminatory, but... yeah, it's discriminatory. That's the point. I'm trying to discriminate between people who will completely waste my time and those who won't.
Indeed. What is often forgotten, is that it also has an associated cost. Sometimes that cost can turn out to be a lot higher than we expect.