I think you are underestimating the volume of traffic. Simple generating that many 301s would be an issue. And... where would you redirect to?
It just says given this URL, we return an header that tells the browser to redirect. The only thing faster would be just dropping the connection as soon as its given to you.
> redirect the workload to some Chinese government's website and let them suffer what they've created.
I'm not saying this is a great idea, just that something could be done.