You can impress me by not charging a ridiculous extra amount for wildcard or UCC certificates. They cost you nothing to generate. It's a scam.
Wildcards don't exist for EV (non-EV certs allow you to register *.whatever.com, then make github.com.whatever.com).
Totally agreed re SANS. I'd like that to change too. Once we switch to evergreen browsers, some of the newer CAs will hopefully shake up the market a little.
Side note: all certificates these days are SANS (ie, nearly everyone has non-www and www, and the actual CN isn't looked at except as a fallback in old IE).