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Comment by Spearchucker | Hacker News Reader

I can read anyone like a book. I also know why I have this skill - my mother had a mean temper. No violence, but a lot of screaming and banging doors. So I learnt quickly to measure the temperature of a room. Weird, and cool, that that aspect of growing up produced such a useful skill. Really weird though, was discovering how few have this ability.

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Similarly, being on the bottom rung of a large corporate hierarchy is a great place to practice empathy. You learn fairly quickly which ideas are likely to have a shot and which will get shot down ruthlessly, where you can look for allies, who your protectors in management will be, and how to make your idea seem inconsequential or unrelated to those who might be threatened by it.

It's too bad that so many startup founders are in it because they never want to work for somebody else. That denies them the opportunity to practice this skill, which tends to come back to bite them when they're dealing with customers or trying to manage employees.

I too can read anyone like a book, and I'd never really thought about why before but my mum also had a temper and I grew up with 2 separate abusers and left home to a 3rd. I've never considered it a skill before, or indeed realised that it wasn't that common.

I actually find it debilitating at times, because it can come out in weird ways. I will sometimes fixate on situations or even individuals and feel vast amounts of pain for them, even carrying massive guilt for things I cannot fix. (I am seeing a counsellor.)

I've seen arguments that this is (part of?) the reason why women are generally more empathic than men.

That's the thing, even though she knows he had some to drink, just the plausible (or even implausible) deniability makes her feel better. It's irrational, but that's how it works.

any advice or tips to do that. I could use them while I wait tables.

Same.

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