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Comment by Rainymood | Hacker News Reader

Off-topic, but not unrelated. She is also the author of this article:

https://medium.com/@kellyellis/commuting-by-myself-714e6dc47...

Directly from the article:

"This is why any man who is a stranger and tries to talk to me when I’m minding my own business is likely to be met with defensiveness and/or aggression. [...] If you are a strange man trying to talk to me on my way to or from work, when I am commuting alone, you are a harasser, pure and simple. You are threatening. And you need to leave me the fuck alone."

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Maybe the experiences discussed by women in this thread[1] will help you understand why this is actually a reasonable stance to take.

EDIT: Here's a good elucidatory comment[2]. And another thread of stories[3]. And another[4].

If you react with venom to statements like the one quoted, then you are not listening.

[1]: http://www.metafilter.com/85667/Hi-Whatcha-reading#2777344

[2]: http://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/15kix9/im_tired_...

[3]: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/2ij22p/what_was_th...

[4]: http://www.metafilter.com/143994/10-hours-of-street-harrassm...

What she describes in the first few paragraphs of the article is obviously horrible, but the closing paragraph, which you quote, is also totally insane.

I was in London a few weeks ago, meeting some clients; my aged iPhone had run out of battery and, not being blessed with a watch, I had no way of telling the time (yes, this is a stupid situation and I felt like an idiot). I was loitering outside my client's offices and knew it was roughly the right time because the coffee shop I'd been in just before had had a clock, but I didn't particularly want to arrive overly early. A person, who happened to be a woman, walked past me, and I stopped her, politely, and asked her for the time, which she duly told me. I thanked her and she went on her way.

Does that count as harassment or threatening behaviour? After all, I'm a white male, a little over 6ft tall, with a shaved head and often a beard, and she was a woman, alone, probably walking to or from her office.

I'm 95% sure sure that "tries to talk to me" means "approaches me and tries to have a conversation", not "asks me if I have the time".

No, it doesn't. If you had scanned the woman up and down very slowly as she walked towards you, then offered a creepy smile saying "hi" then yes I would most certainly call that threatening behavior.

No one here is claiming you can't talk to women.

Hmm, if you are a harasser by trying to talk to someone... then when & where will you meet the man of your dreams? After a while, most people exhaust the dating options within their friendship circles. Many girls welcome these sorts of chances to talk with a man.

Maybe the general problem being a woman in tech is that you just have way too many men around & so through the normal course of male -> female flirting women feel overwhelmed and overburdened.

Thing is, I'd guess most techie guys are super shy.

"You look like a rockstar in that bathing suit. "

Isn't that just a compliment from a shy, probably very sweet, Indian boy?

Well it's hard to say without actually being there in that situation.

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