Coding Like a Girl
medium.com
medium.com
For women, it was paragraphs long. Too feminine and they'll mistake you for a departmental secretary. Too youthful and they'll dismiss you as a student. Too severe and you're "not collegial". Too approachable and you're not serious. The whole thing was just a minefield.
Where I work, half the programmers dress in t-shirt,jeans (both men and women 50/50 actually) and then the other half of programmers(again 50/50) dress much more business professional. Even some of the graphic designers dress really formally lately, think pant suit.
From what I talked around about and discovered, a lot of it has to do with some of their career ambitions. Some of the more formally dressed programmers want to be project managers, or they read a book on business etiquette and want job security or something. It's where I first learned of books like Corporate Confidential, and others on business politics.
My personal anecdote: Honestly I've gotten the harshest criticism including gendered criticism from other women in the corp on the way I dress. The harshest criticism included gendered doesn't even come from the tech side, but business or research analysts. I don't know if the my team's tech guys care or not, but they sure haven't made comments one way or the other. Why is so much criticism of women being in tech at the tech guys and not at the other men AND women in other departments enforcing stereotypes in the company ?
I just take it in stride. What's the big deal? I just don't make it some huge issue that's related to my gender.
Try flipping it on it's head see how you reacted if someone told you, "You don't look very clever, you must spend all your time looking in the mirror and talking about your feelings. Why don't you go and buy yourself something pretty while we talk about the grown up stuff".
The problem is with the people projecting their discrimination on to you and your colleagues. You should fight this not encourage or accept it.
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> Moocho Campus Manager:
> You’ll be our quarterback. We want you to recruit, train and lead a team of Campus Ambassadors to spread the word about Moocho on your campus. Guide your team to success while getting real experience in the process. We want you to make students know, love and use Moocho on your campus.
> Think you’re up for it?
> Moocho Campus Ambassador
> Get paid to help Moocho spread the word about an (and maybe we’re biased here) awesome app that lets you spend money around campus with your phone. Work with other students and get some real experience. It’s good for your resume and great for your bank account.
> Moocho Campus CTO
> Are you a tech-loving dork or dweeb? Do people kick sand in your face at the computer lab? Are your arms thin and pale - kinda like a good piece of veal? Then you, my nerdy friend, are in luck. Moocho is hiring a tech-savvy Campus Tech Officer for UW and we want you (or your geeky friends) to apply.
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The contrast between the business jobs and the tech job is mind blowing.
My reply was
>Is this a fucking joke?! This is what you think of software engineers?
>This is the problem with you management types, computers are pure magic to you, and if someone understands it, it must because they're frail, socially retarded, and live in their parent's basement, right?
>Fuck off.
... In retrospect I may have been making their point about the lack of social grace that software engineers may or may not have, but c'est la vie.
Just goes to show that this profession is not one that necessarily has a lot of glory, but at least for me, once I was exposed to the magic underneath our modern internet I was hooked-- there was no way I was going to ever do anything else. What could possibly be unmanly about that?
Gives them a chance to save face (or prove it's not a good work environment).
In their defense, looking through my inbox just now, I noticed they later sent out an email with everything the same, except for including a more positive remark regarding their tech position. I think they realized it was out of line.
> Moocho Campus CTO
> Do you have an aptitude for technology? Always looking for the next best thing? Do friends call you to fix their computer? Moocho is looking for a tech-savy Campus Tech Officer for Wisconsin and we want you to apply.
With that being said, I don't think I'm missing out on an opportunity of a lifetime there. I should be more considerate, though.
Now the real problem I have with the email they sent is that "standard" positions are described in a positive way with what you will do and how awesome it will be and, basically, rewarding what you can do, except for the CTO position where they'll consider you based on what you are. It almost sounds like they'd be kind enough to take you out of your misery.
No.
You're asking too much to be reliable able to look at someone and know if they're open to dating. Given that your target demographic is about 50% of the world's population, the variation is just too large for you to be able to do this. You're going to have to try something else.
Perhaps a polite, friendly conversation and a sustained programme of getting to know them will help you know if they're open to dating.
But the real problem is that the situations you are talking about do not happen when meeting a complete stranger at random in the street; the encounter happens in a tech conference or at work, where you can expect people to be there because of their skills and interests.
Would you ever expect any male to be present in a tech conf not because he's interested in the technology but because he's accompanying someone ? Why is it normal to expect it for females ?
The problem is absolutely not in how women dress/behave/talk/present, it's how the other persons (including other women!) expect something different simply because of their gender.
What utter rubbish.
>Is there a way to look at girl in a cute pink dress and tell whether she is there to just present a tech topic or she is also open to potential dating?
Why are you combining your search for a partner with work/conference. How about you assume no one is there looking for a date?