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I hope that's not the whole point of an ORM given how pervasive they seem to be in every project and how few any given projects ever switch their backend out. Choosing an ORM because it abstracts you away from the storage engine seems like a terrible reason.

I agree with Conery, choose the components that will compose your application wisely and then embrace those choices and use them to their fullest.

Sure, but one can have an "ARM" (Abstract Relational Model) that abstracts away from database-specifics without trying to shoehorn the relational model into an object model, which isn't a one-to-one mapping. It doesn't have to be an ORM.

Couldn't the abstracted query layer... be SQL? You don't need to speak it to the server; you can parse it at the client-library level and send whatever optimized thing the server likes to it.