Foiled by his tone, or his content?

I don't see this as very complicated. Women, just like any aggrieved minority, don't want to be spoken for, or spoken to. They want to be heard; they want to speak for themselves.

The goal of engagement is not to get some establishment figure to "parrot some feminist line", it's to listen to women's voices, for a change. The primary work of male allies should not be speaking up on behalf of women, it should be facilitating the voices of women. I.e., mostly, stand aside and listen.