I can play that game too:

Java and the JVM form a 3/4 baked language environment originally designed to run on washing machines, freezers and TV-top sets - that after 20 years can't even get applets and GUI properly.

See how easy it is?

Yes, I completely dislike JavaScript. I also completely dislike Java. But both are here to stay, regardless of their (lack of) merits compared to some ideals. Java missed the browser bus because it was horrible, and JavaScript drives the bus now because it was there.