I'm 20, brilliant and totally lost
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Still, I think you put a finger on the Kid's narcissism. But consider, we're getting closer to a society where being well-thought-of in High School really seems like as good a guide for your chances of becoming a billionaire as anything.
I mean, Sara Palin resigns as governor of Alaska because being a manager is kind-of a hassle but still seems to be taken seriously as a potential president. Now it's starting to make sense...
In fact, the only reason he seems to feel lost is because he doesn't stick with anything beyond the initial thrill.
Rather than narcissisticly wandering the world and becoming even further ingrained in this "do what's easy" philosophy I say jump into the real world. Join a startup and realize the joy of working against insurmoutable odds. Where not only do people call your dream silly but a lot of them won't even meet with you to hear you out.
Then he'll get enough backbone to pursue his own dreams
I also think it's very, very bad advice to tell somebody to follow a dream that they don't entirely understand. I've had both: Dreams where I only vaguely felt I wanted something, and dreams I couldn't help but pursue because I understood them so completely. The latter dream is valuable and absolutely worth pursuing. The former dream isn't really a dream at all, and pushing too hard at it will only make you feel that maybe dreams aren't worth following after all. Following the wrong kind of dream will burn you out in the worst way.
For the last while, I've been going at things at my own pace. I try, hard as possible, not to let myself get into anything I don't want to do. The result, I find, is that while I'm not as überproductive as I was last year, when I was in a bad place and trying hard to get out, I still generate a lot of work without seeming to have to make an effort. What's more, I'm growing in a lot of ways at once because I don't have the slight resentment against the work I used to force myself to do.
I find as I look at great works of art, regardless of the genre, that with the greatest masterpieces there comes a sense of relaxation. The people who made them weren't obsessing over them any more than they wanted to. They'd just taken themselves down a path in which what they were making was exactly what they wanted to make, and they made it. I find the same thing about Internet startups, actually: My favorite start-ups tend to defy a lot of the conventional rules, work at a relaxed pace, and then explode and grow huge.
I guess I only start to think of work as work once I don't want to do it. Right now I'm messing with theme design, for instance, and if I'm lucky what I'm building will be used by hundreds if not thousands of people, but I'm doing it for fun so I'm not counting it as work. On the other hand, spending ten minutes to write a paper is excruciating labor.
When I started actually completing projects (and I was older than this guy is), it was largely because I'd tried a bunch of things in superficial depth and found that they weren't all that satisfying. I bounced from a physics major to philosophy to sociology back to physics and finally ended up with a CS degree. I tried out orchestra and guitar and bass and taiko and sailing and fanfiction and sci-fi/fantasy and programming as hobbies. I "learned" dozens of programming languages by website & academic paper before actually settling down to write some code. I needed that experience to figure out for myself what I really considered important and was willing to put the time into learning well.
In the short term, it's a financial drain to spend extra time during your college years to try everything that interests you. But in the long run... WHO CARES. Better to spend a couple years finding yourself in your early 20s than having a mid-life crisis when you're 40.
That said, I joined a startup as his age. Younger, actually - I was 18. It was a good experience in that I learned a great deal of technical knowledge very quickly and it laid the path for the career that I've formed since then, but it's not a remedy for a spiritual problem.
I'll qualify my experience to say that the first startup I worked at was not a good company; our president was arguably a snake-oil salesman in a lot of ways, and myself/the other engineers often worked 'deathmarches' leading to a moment where I was literally told during a doctor's appointment that I would have a heart attack before I could legally drink if I didn't find a new job.
I don't regret the job, overall; I learned a lot professionally and personally, and the next startup was far more successful. I do regret not wandering a little more, though, and he should take this opportunity.
Maybe games are not the best cure against loneliness, or the only one. Maybe I should have just become a therapist. On the other hand, maybe one day my game will help some other scientist over a depression and enable him to finish working on that vaccine.
I don't subscribe to the notion that only vaccines are "really important" - even stupid things like fashion play a part in the bigger picture. Ultimately, one has to ask what are we living for. Sure, somebody has to create those vaccines to enable us to live on, but working on the question on what to live for matters, too - otherwise, why not just die.
I've actually always had the opposite reaction as that teacher in the article. I've never felt interested in science or technological process. It fascinates me, but I shudder at the thought of spending my life dedicated to it. I want messier things to spend my life achieving. But then, I also identify a lot with the person that wrote this, though I don't feel as beaten as he does, so this might not be a particularly unique perspective on the matter.
Welcome to your life. You are the latest man in a chain many thousands of years long to wake from his deep sleep and discover that he is incomplete without a purpose.
First, the bad news: the pain won't go away by itself. It will get worse, like a constant implosion dissolving your heart from within. During sex and danger the pain may abate - and then come back, strong as before. Be warned, though; ignored for too long, the pain can numb. Then your purpose has abandoned you, and you are lost.
The good news: if you find your purpose and live it, the pain will go away. As I said, you are the latest inheritor of this burden - many have walked this road before you. They have left you way markers - the world's great spiritual traditions - to help you find your path.
You must open yourself profoundly to the world around you. Find a teacher, meditate deeply, question incessantly. Test yourself at every opportunity. Find your true purpose, and give yourself completely. Do so, and you may be enlightened, suffused with joy at the wonders that have always surrounded you. Fail, and die an anonymous end to a vacant life.
Happy hunting.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
HOW soon hath time, the subtle thief of youth,
Stolen on his wing my three and twentieth year!
My hasting days fly on with full career,
But my late spring no bud or blossom sheweth.
Perhaps my semblance might deceive the truth,
That I to manhood am arrived so near,
And inward ripeness doth much less appear
That some more timely happy spirits indueth.
Yet be it less or more, or soon or slow,
It shall be still in strictest measure even
To that same lot however mean or high,
Toward which time leads me and the will of heaven.
All is, if I have grace to use it so,
As ever in my great taskmaster's eye.http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005140.html
So the average 20 year old in 1850 could expect to live an additional 40 years, to roughly age 60. The curve started flattening after WW1 and continued doing so until around the 70s and 80s.
Here's hoping for the hockey stick.
I suspect there were significant differences in life expectancy between the 17th century and 1850.
Henry David Thoreau
I was brought up with my parents doting on me telling me I was brilliant and destined to great things.
As a result I was a little shit at 18.
It was university that brought me crashing down, gave me social skills, got me laid and focused my education. But that was only by luck (I changed course at the last minute - my original choice would have been easy as school).
However it never found me a purpose or passion (beyond an enjoyment of "hacking" and programming). I left university a much nicer person but just as lost.
Now it's only 18 months later but I have a real serious career and a passion and am doing pretty good. Again that was total luck.
Sounds like this guy is just getting to the "lost" section; don't worry it will figure itself out. It might take a couple of years (I know a guy who it took till about 31 to really sort out what he wanted). But the fact he is asking means he is on the right path.
Best advice I believe you can give people like that is dont think too far ahead - I still want to be a millionaire playboy at 30 with 10's of businesses behind me. But thankfully now I know that is just a dream to help drive me to whatever success I do end up with. It might well be as good as that - probably not. But hell, ill bumble along ok regardless :)
Or in summary: this shit generally works itself out so long as you work hard on the moment in hand.
EDIT: I see a few people trashing the armed forces option. I couldn't disagree more. If you make the decision in the right way and understand what your signing up too it could be a great experience. No need to worry about your ling term future for the moment :)
Just saying...
3 years on a boat or sub and he'll know EXACTLY what he wants to do (and will have a lot more means to act upon it).
I think it is more likely that after three years he'll know exactly what he doesn't want to do.
I have deep respect for those who do serve. I just don't think that recommending it as some kind of default "until you figure it out" is remotely a good idea.
The lessons we learn are to be found everywhere. Hindsight makes me laugh at how so many of my "lessons" were around me at all times, in even the most mundane things!
I keep forgetting that for me, it's all about the journey, not the destination.
If I had to give advice to struggling young college grads who don't yet know what they want to do with their life, it'd be take a job. Any job, though you should preference ones that will expose you to new ideas and talented people. Go as far as you can with it, then if it's not working out, take another job. Repeat until you have a fair picture of what the working world is like, then start a company. It'll fail (first startups always do), but by then you should have a good idea of what you really want to do, so you can take the job that will most help you achieve that, and start another company a few years down the road.
Unfortunately, most directionless people either go to grad school or join the military, which are about the two worst things you can do. Because both are fairly hard to get out of, and if you find out 3 months in that it's not what you really want, the time spent in them is basically a big sunk cost.
Although it could very well be considered a school of hard knocks, learning about x Year commitments at a younger age may help tremendously for same or larger commitments later in life (starting companies, buying a house, committing to a relationship, etc.).
If I choose something I know I can get out of fairly easily, I may not give it enough time to see it work, because I have an easy out.
(Insert reference to military leaders who have cut off their own forces' abilities to retreat here).
The most valuable lesson I learned in college was in sticking it out and getting my degree even after it became apparent that I'd royally screwed things up and the administration was not going to let me graduate. However, had that lesson come a semester earlier, I would've said "To hell with it" and dropped out, 3.5 years and $100K sunk cost be damned. In fact, I did have a chance to learn that lesson 2 years prior, the first time I failed a physics course and considered dropping the major (and dropping out), and obviously didn't then.
For every person who emerges with their military service or Ph.D saying "It made me a stronger person," there're a bunch more that say "The government fucked me over" or "My liberal arts education made me utterly unemployable" or "I guess I'm just not cut out to be a researcher." You just don't hear about them, or when you do, you say "It's their own damn fault for not following through."
The same goes for military leaders who cut off their own forces' ability to retreat. You hear about the ones where glorious victories were achieved against all odds. You don't hear about the ones where the forces were slaughtered down to a man for nothing. (Or occasionally you do, and point and laugh at their arrogance, eg. Custer's Last Stand.)
In this case, no. Almost anything that doesn't have a predetermined length of service is a good thing t do "until you figure it out."
(Needless to say, the financial/educational benefits due to the updated GI bill are also quite attractive)
In this case, he's been told that he isn't happy unless he's feeling a certain way, and now that he's not feeling that certain way, he decides he must be unhappy. The problem's circular.
While it might do wonders for one's self-esteem, being called "brilliant" by high school teachers doesn't impress me much. In contrast: If Brian Eno says someone is brilliant, I am quite likely to take his word for it.
I'd further mention that many people unconsciously choose to not be brilliant because this allows them to fit in.
An interesting trend in those labeled remarkably intelligent is a tendency toward stymied feeling of self-worth.
For example, students are much better off when you say, "you worked so hard on that project, it really shows that you cared about what you were doing" as opposed to "your project was great, you are so smart".
Children understand the difference between hard work and smarts (where smarts are natural ability and hard work is a virtue).
Later in life those students that were positively reinforced for working hard are better off than those that were simply told they were smart. Which is a nice reference to what it takes to be a startup founder (smarts are great, but only when paired with strong work ethic. However a strong work ethic and tenacity could overcome a natural gap in ability).
I always liked this Baudrillard quote: "The modern ideal is to make your life what you want it to be. In reality, that is what you do when there's no other solution."
Don't most people figure out the distinction in HS?
This whole thread is an endless font for quip abuse, mod me down quickly so I learn my lesson...
The guy should get a physical. He may have low thyroid, anemia, etc. The cure may be as simple as taking an iron tablet occasionally.
My father tells me how much surprised it is when he sees back their school mates,now that he is retired, they expected the brilliant people in class to success.
This is what really happened:
The brilliant people(3 hipersmart guys) took a normal job and lived a normal live. People that had enormous problems in school, became presidents of big companies, made their own restaurants chains,got political power, became famous as scientific researchers...
Wow: Nobody would have expected that!!
I think those brilliant people were very good at learning and memorizing when the answer is known, but not so good facing risk and failure, fighting against unknown.
PS: There was a time I got 10 over 10 score in some exams like math when a lot of people didn't pass. I felt great(and superior) about being considered intelligent, but at the same I felt frightened about losing my position, so I stooped asking stupid questions (what would they think about me).
Later I discovered I love asking stupid questions, and I love testing new things, often it goes bad, so I felt liberated making enough grades and not being ultrasmart, but feeling this stupid man can kick some smart asses if I work hard.
I doubt this very much.
I think is difficult to understand this, specially for american people.
The fact that some people don't quite understand is that making a successful restaurant or company is as difficult or more difficult that study and fill an exam.
When you say all these people have done all those successful things, are you talking about the entire history of your school? I couldn't understand if that is what you were talking about or if you were saying all those accomplishments happened with people who were in school as the same time as you (this is what I doubt).
Yeah, american people are different to european, here and in asia education (and specially memorization) is very important. Some american people will find it difficult to understand that in Spain you could get to be public worker(and can't be fired) just making an exam.
Life happens and it's all about how to take it in. Be it thrusting yourself into hard, difficult situations or taking it easy to learn and enjoy the subtle nuances of life. There is a particular equifinality in life where the same solution can be derived through different approaches. No one here is in the right or the wrong.
My personal opinion is that "getting lost" is less the solution, but rather the gentleman should "stay open," if you will. Wandering is merely one action that tends to incur openness, but it may or may not be the correct approach for any one person in particular. Learning to appreciate life is what he's learning "the hard way" currently and I would venture to say he'll experience that 'click' in his head sooner than his doomsday-ridden mind is anticipating.
Realizing how fortunate we all are to be here in this cultivated "world" of intellectualism--of the attitude we all have developed through our own stories similar to this boy's--discussing the merits of self-realization (who I am) the requisites of self-actualization (what I can do) is what is important here. It's quite the privilege.
People don't often realize that most experiences, and feelings, are common; but, it is the lack of skill to communicate that makes us feel lonely.
I say, learn to communicate well. And be around people who know how to communicate well. I think this is very important to a person's happiness. Especially people who are, indeed, above average -- perhaps even for their sanity.
I'd never seen that before, what a great quote.
But obviously the quote's saying that if you're handed everything it means nothing. But if you lose it and have to fight to regain it, you learn its true value.
BTW - Folks who earned "it" in the first place know something about value too. There are identities other than the lost princess....
(I used to wonder if "prodigal" was a biblical term; but it's just related to the word "prodigious". However, I don't know which came first.)
If all you have is good grades and no ambition, you're not brilliant, you're an idiot. Now start doing something about it.
I don't see the point in bashing somebody because they like something. Very often, those people that try something and turn out to be terrible find what they love in the process. Why insult them?
A teenage girl bragging about her fashion sense or poetic style does not directly equate to the statement 'I want to make video games'. Unless, of course, you are implying that anyone who makes that statement has already tried and failed at creating successful video games and are now doomed and hopeless before they even hit the campus floor (as I am assuming that teenage girl is because, well...her poems suck).
I wanted to make video games. I went to a school specifically for that. I made it halfway through. The reality (to me, at least) was that the industry was just not worth it. The average lifespan of a game developer is 5 years...before total burnout ensues, and you are left entirely drained, hopefully with some bank though. But above all that, I decided to drop out because of a very simple and fundamental reason: It took all the mystery out of games...the X-factor, if you will.
This is not just refined to games of course...I feel that this happens all over the place, and the simplest answer as to why could just be that we as humans LOVE to learn. Just the prospect of learning some new language or about a new technology can spike a persons motivation to new heights, even if it is short-lived...we keep going.
Oh well. Until I have that log cabin in the woods my day job involves robot submarines, which is as awesome as it sounds.
The problem is, I think, if you say "I want to make games"(or any other thing) but wouldn't spend your next few hours of free time actually starting something.
Whatever makes people happy eh? Not everyone needs to be an Einstein.
Recall that the guy is in South America, where many millions of people still live in the most grinding poverty; I can understand why a teacher would argue that since videogames are toys for rich kids, it's self-indulgent to devote oneself to such a thing when only a day's journey from the university (or maybe less) there are people with no clean water, access to medicine, etc. Now, I actually think a South American videogame compny would be a fine thing in the bigger context: it would create jobs, diversify the economy, could lead to new educational tools and so on. Videogames certainly stimulated my interest in computers and technology and still do. But while he may be brilliant enough to become a fine game programmer/designer/businessman, I can't blame him for being socially and economically immature enough that he's not able to see how it all fits together.
so my answer would be 'you love video games? Then make some, the world needs better games, because games can be powerful learning tools'.