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>after I secretly saw my ex girlfriend that I refused to place boundaries on and refuse to not see

Oh. So you not only failed to communicate to your lady-friend but was also imprudent enough to see this outcome.

I don't see a problem in seeing exes(if that's not a funky american idiom for having sex which). I see a problem in people exploiting fears of other people to get what they want.

So communicate this to both the parties. He kept it a secret. What will present friend think of it? Don't be a selfish idiot in a relationship.

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