The Importance of Anxiety
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I've been struggling with that for over six years now. Big part of the problem is that anxiety is the very way for your mind to answer the question "is this right or wrong"? It's hard to think your way out of things if your brain fires up "it's still wrong!" alarm randomly.
There is effective medication. Benzodiazepines get sometimes bad press but I've found them very useful to occasionally deal with anxiety.
Go to a psychiatrist and they'll tell you the best things for anxiety and mental health are: Exercise + a proper diet + sleep habits, reasonable to no alcohol/drug use, meditation, therapy and medication as last resort.
Try those first five things before popping pills, there are steps you can follow to make that feeling manageable and eventually extinguish the anxiety loop.
There's been quite a bit of research and interest in the role of magnesium in anxiety, depression and several other common medical conditions.
I take it along with a benzodiazepine and the difference now after supplementing mag. is very noticeable (sleep quality, functionality, anxiety) compared to the benzo alone, though in my specific case some level of mag. deficiency is quite possible, which could explain the change.
Make sure to get a form of magnesium that is actually bioavailable though. The oxide is apparently near useless as a supplement despite being very common, while chelated forms like magnesium glycinate are supposed to be much more bioavailable, and that form in particular doesn't seem to cause digestive problems like some other forms do (the citrate is actually marketed as a laxative if I'm not mistaken).
For the less controllable situational physical "fight or flight" anxiety, however, I've found low dosage beta blockers work very well. Apparently a lot of musicians and surgeons use them for similar purposes, but you'd need to have the mental anxiety sorted out first, I suspect.
I've used beta blockers in the past for things like speeches, and they are quite miraculous in my opinion. I'd like to get another subscription. In any case, they definitely do not help for longer-term problems in the sense that I will have anxiety for the days / weeks building up to things.
That is CBT with a therapist, or self-applied CBT? I've been meaning to go through "Feeling Good" book, it seems to be widely regarded as an effective way to apply CBT to yourself.
Yes. This is what therapy is. It's a professional teaching you tools to deal with anxiety. Find a style (Cognitive Behavior, Humanistic, Psychodynamic, etc) that makes sense to you and then find a therapist who practices it and give them a call. Say everything you said here and see what they say. If you like it, go in for a session or two and see how it feels. Repeat until it feels right.
It's work. Very hard, very difficult, very nervewracking, all-consuming work. But it is so worth it. The anxiety still exists, but it doesn't have power over you. You recognize it for what it is (another data point your subconscious is giving you) and move on. I feel more like me than I ever have before and I'm in control.
You can also medicate - you'll want a psychiatrist for that (psychiatrist is a psychologist who is licensed to prescribe you meds). But that never worked for me, it just buried the anxiety under other strange feelings but never made it go away and usually made it worse cause I knew I wasn't fixing the problem.
> Yes. This is what therapy is. It's a professional teaching you tools to deal with anxiety. [...] The anxiety still exists
Is it your anxious self leading you to foolishly conclude that "shut anxiety off" == "deal with anxiety"?
A couple of weeks later I found a therapist. Great--He will help me. Well, I was seeing him two times a week for months. I paid his fees through what was left of my student loans. Months went by. I cried, and cried. We talked about my childhood. I went to a Behaviorist--followed his instructions--still nothing. Finally was referred to a Psychatrist--who didn't seem to have a clue to what was wrong with me. Finally, on my last referal I found a Psychiatrist who at least acted like he knew what was going on. Yes, he did prescribe a addictive drug, after trying most of the non addictive drugs. In my case, Klonopin is the only drug that seemed to alleviate my misery, but it was not enough; I still needed to self medicate. More importantly, this Psychiatrist reassured me that the crazy thoughts I was having was nothing to worry about. It was the way he told me--I could see in his face that he has heard my symptomology before, and I was not going crazy. That was priceless!
I can say anxiety ruined the life I was preparing for, but my anxiety symptoms eventually got better over the years. I look back on the Therapy and I sometimes think it did more damage than good? I really was honest in Therapy, and so wanted it to work, but I got nothing out of it in the slightest?
I don't have any advise because every patient is different. I can offer this, if you go on an addicive drug keep the level of medication low. You might be suprised just how long you will live? You don't want to work that liver to the brink of failure. It's ironic, that my biggest fear when I had my breakdown was The fear of Death. I just couldn't come to terms with it. I literally felt I only had a few years/months left--while I was beyond healthy at that point in my life. I wouldn't wish the way I was feeling on my worst enemy. I felt like I was in Hell. It does get better with time. I'm glad I didn't commit suicide.
At some point it went away. Maybe by itself, maybe thanks to SSRIs, but the fear, while still lurkinng deep in me, is hardly noticeable anymore. What's left is just random anxiety and an aversion for long-term planning. I just can't do it. I spent years thinking my life is about to end, and as a result I made myself unable to think many years forward. A coping strategy that is hindering me now.
And I agree. This state was Hell. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy as well.
"Such things are beyond my scope."
As much as I enjoy thinking about existential matters, I suppose there's a certain solace to be had in ignoring them entirely.
You may also find the chaper on fear in the book The Issue at Hand to be helpful. I know I did.
http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/documents/iah/IssueAt...
For a good introduction you can get The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris. Still, if you find your anxiety is interfering in your ability to live a productive and meaningful life I highly recommend finding a good therapist at http://contextualscience.org/civicrm/profile?gid=17&reset=1&....
The good news is that you can free yourself from your mind. This is the only true liberation. You can take the first step right now. Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old gramophone records that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years. This is what I mean by "watching the thinker," which is another way of saying: listen to the voice in your head, be there as the witnessing presence."
Eckhart Tolle. "The Power of Now"
I'm surprised nobody mentioned this: exercise.
Seriously, instead of compulsively checking HN, go for a run or even a walk somewhere in nature. It'll get rid of that excess adrenaline that prevents you from relaxing. If you've got a legitimate hard decision to make, freeing up your mind a bit (rather than focussing on tech news or sci-fi) is the best way to come up with a decent solution to things.
The running shoes I got a year and a half ago were pretty expensive, but they have been one of my most useful purchases to date. I go running 2-3 times a week - when I'm feeling down, when I need to make a hard decision, when I'm about to go on a date - and it might not always be a 100% panacea but it makes things a whole damn lot easier.
I guess I might try switching from black to green.
In a way, I guess I've heard most of them already. Part of me wished there was an easier way than diet + exercise + meditation + therapy + wait, wait and wait. Some magic pill, or maybe a powerful quote that could instantly short-circuit my anxiety loop. Having your brain second-guessing every other thought doesn't help in developing and keeping habits.
I've tried SSRI - they did help reduce the baseline, so panic attacks are mostly things of the past, and I have little bit more willpower (at the cost of the usual side effects I won't name).
I've tried diet and exercise before and didn't notice significant improvement in anxiety levels or cognitive abilities - but then again I was optimizing for weight loss, not for well-being, so maybe I should just try a different diet.
I'm having hard time getting myself to trust any other therapy than CBT and the only CBT practitioner in my town that I know about is a private, expensive doctor. I guess I have to get back to "Feeling Good" and try to self-CBT until I save up some money.
As a child, I stopped worrying about religion when I heard and adapted a Buddhist belief; no matter how much we ask is there a God, we will never know. And this doesn't matter. We accept that there might or might not be. We choose to live the life that we consider correct. That may not be the same life for everyone, but their choice is neither correct or incorrect.
I've started thinking of it as like my consciousness is a circular saw blade and there's this one bent-sideways tooth, like once a revolution it catches on something horrible in my past and drags it out and makes me look at it. It helps a little to recognize it, to be like, "oh yeah, this is the 10-minute self-shaming, right on schedule." But it doesn't help as much as, you know, that not happening.
Over the past several years I've had growing issues with anxiety, and I had found myself fretting about a passing conversation with someone that doesn't know me and likely will never see again. It wasn't even like the conversation went that badly, so why was I replaying it and worrying about it? Logically it made no sense, but it keeps happening over little things like this. The only way I can explain it is that life has been going well and I haven't had any significant things to worry about for a while. Now my brain seems to be working overtime to find hidden dangers.
If I'm not preoccupied with something creative, then my mind seems to want to focus on potential problems with my personal life. And I will ruminate until something potentially dangerous is found..
In the past where people would declare formal duels in response to some verbal insult, anxiety was a relevant response to save your life. But in this day and age where people have much more to gain and very little to lose when being assertive and fearless in social situations, anxiety has become an excessive and prehistoric response that is largely irrelevant to the times and culture we live in.
Here's an example relevant to most men. Why aren't we talking to that hot super model at the bar? What do we have to lose? Nothing. What do we have to gain? Everything. The logic is inescapable but why are we still scared? Because in the past hitting on a super hot model meant dealing with her alpha male partner who could kill you in a duel. The emotions we feel are evolutionary relics from prehistoric times that were designed to keep us safe. These emotions are now largely irrelevant because murder and combat in our society is both frowned upon and considered a crime.
Yes, it's normal to get anxious sometime, just as it's normal to get angry sometimes. Someone who never, ever gets angry could be suspected of bottling up their feelings (but we can't be sure). Our emotions aren't under direct voluntary control, so if we find ourselves getting angry, or anxious, or fearful, we must aim not to freak out, or criticize ourselves for it, or become anxious about our anger, angry about our anxiety, fearful of our fear, or any other such downward spiral. Emotions are normal; they are ok.
However, doing what a negative emotion says to do usually doesn't work out as well as doing something else, in my experience. While we can certainly find evolutionary justifications for the things we feel compelled to do under the influence of these emotions, that doesn't mean they are helpful. Fear tells us to flee, to avoid, to destroy, or to deny. I've read that highly successful people who seem fearless do feel fear but just aren't as bothered by it. I think this says the exact opposite of the OP's message, which in this analogy would be The Importance of Fear: It Tells Us When to Run Away. The hard part about fear is acknowledging it and not running away. That is called courage.
Similarly, anger. When you are fighting with your wife (or co-founder), they may say something that you take personally and it hurts your feelings. You are outraged. You strike back, and a fight breaks out. Ok, that's fine, that's normal. But one of you, at some point, has to ignore the anger voice that tells you to defend yourself at all costs, and to attack your enemy's weaknesses. Yes, your partner has become your enemy, thanks to anger.
Anxious drivers don't drive better than non-anxious drivers. I may have moments of anxiety when I drive, such as if I notice a car about to merge into me and I swerve. Perhaps the anxiety plays a physiological role in helping me respond. However, it takes many seconds for the feeling to subside, during which time the anxiety is not helping me, it is hurting me. It also seems naive to identify the feeling of anxiety with the biochemistry of responding to an urgent situation. We could just as well say anxiety is a psychological state which is a harmful byproduct of the physiology.
Mainly, we're stuck with it.
But on the other hand, I'm completely overwhelmed by anxiety. When it starts, it often doesn't subside for another hour and drops my capacity to 10%. I wish I could ignore it the way I ignore my anger.
Growing up male, I was always morally anxious about the possibility that I would harm someone else accidentally or (when I was considering joining the military) through violence or (when I became sexually active) through misinterpreted signs of lucid enthusiastic consent. A thing that I've never fully been able to grapple with is anxiety around the possibility of being assaulted or having violence done to me and I feel like this makes me fail at properly empathizing with many of the women I'm friends with. Does anyone know of anything I could read or watch besides Gavin, Captain Awkward, or MVC? I feel like I just don't get it and, well, feel anxious about that.
The examples in the article are really more about an introspective approach to life. About really considering our actions and the behaviour of the people around us. Anxiety as a disorder is more about being too introspective, rather than being introspective in itself.
Like jobu said - humanity has a baseline of anxiety.
What about when our anxiety is severely deviant?
Meditation and Eckhart Tolle changed my life. Unfortunately, I still need to use medication sometimes when I get attacks.
There's so much I'd like to type out about not being the contents of our mind, Libet and free will, meditation, etc. It's only taken me 20 years to understand and I always feel like I want to tell everyone since I figured all of this out two years ago. But you can do it yourself. Buddhism, Tolle, meditation. Meditation got me to CBT. CBT brought me to Buddhism which brought me to Tolle.
vis a vis prostoalex's post - Tolle's right.
2) Who cares if your emails are in some NSA server. They already are on some server that you don't control, gmail, work, etc. What is the practical difference?
The numbers of approved wiretaps is really low.
You have a much greater chance of being spied on, legally with a warrant, by traditional police.
Or, worse really, getting sued and then having lawyers crawl up your ass in discovery.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallacy_of_relative_privation