Hey all, author here. You all are amazing and took down my website! If it's not loading for you, I put the post in a gist which can be found here: https://gist.github.com/jkup/dcaa56f1d066409d17f5
(good article though ... I try to prefix my PHP rage stories these days with 'argh, argh, PHP3' so people realise I'm complaining about the past rather than the present)