And still I really feel like everything is just... I don't know, maybe empty... Meaningless...
I don't feel like growing up...
It is normal ? How can I enjoy more my trip ?
For the record I am traveling in China with three good friend, however my Chinese is below poor and talk with local most of the time is impossible...
When you're with even one friend, you have a tendency to ignore the outside world and focus on each other. The more people, the less interaction with the place you're at. Imagine the extreme example you see all the time of a dozen English friends (or Spaniards, Australians, or Israelis) on the road, loudly engaged in socializing with one another, not even interested in talking to any other travelers outside their tight group, let alone any locals. Ask one of them for a good story from their trip, and the best they'll be able to come up with is the one about Steve downing twelve shots and falling into the pool.
Go by yourself, though, and a few things happen. First, you're outside your comfort zone a bit more, with nobody to rely on, so experiences are a bit more intense. Second, even as an introvert, you eventually need some form of human contact so you go into what I call "emergency survival social mode" where you strike up conversations with people in situations where normal you would have sat silently and finished his beer.
But mostly, you're a lot more approachable when you're alone. That means that the locals will actually come up and talk to you. I once pulled my motorbike over to the side of the road in Thailand to find a convenient bush, and when I got back to the bike, a local guy pulled up to ask if anything was wrong (in Thai). A few minutes of awkward dictionary-assisted conversation later, I was following him back to his village, negotiating dirt footpaths on the bike on the way to have a lunch of dried fish and seaweed at his stilt house and meet his family.
Not a bad day, all around. And it definitely wouldn't have happened if there were six of us in a pack.
So yeah, ditch your friends for a couple weeks and go find a way to get out of your comfort zone a bit. I bet you'll come away with a ton of good stories!
Man! I do this too. I like to travel alone too - not always, but maybe 30% of the time, and I find this exact thing. It's scary but exciting!
You're traveling with friends. My idea of traveling is to jump into something different. A different culture, sounds, traditions, animals, priorities. As we travel, we bring our own bubble of culture with us - we bring our perspectives and education and interests, etc. The first part of your trip, days or weeks or months, will slowly feather the edges of this bubble until you notice more differences and similarities between you and wherever your traveling. You will learn and grow when you start to recognize these differences and play with them. You attention to these things will become more refined as you are traveling and as you loosen that bubble.
Traveling with compadres only strengthens this bubble of culture that needs to wear down so that you are able to learn and grow.
I guess it's important not to be overwhelmed by some grand desire to grow or change but to take each moment as it comes. Seriously. Look at the fine details along the edge of an awning? what signage is there? Why was this city built where it was?
Then, go it alone, even if just for a little bit.
You seem to be doing all the right things with food, sights, and meeting people, but try sitting at a dim sum bar and watching how the locals interact. Paper and pen to capture your thoughts or an old school camera.
Was just in China and certainly not easy as an English speaker, but a group is a non-starter for locals. Of course this assumes that you are traveling to explore a new culture.
If all else fails and you want to stay with your friends, then try making the opposite decisions as normal. If you would follow them somewhere, push for what you want. If you are always deciding, just go with the flow. Where you say yes, say no, and where you say no, say yes.
Either way, unplug. The answer to better travels isn't here in HN, it's right where you are right now. It's about asking for directions in hand gestures rather than using technology. It's about not speaking to family and friends for a couple of weeks, but following your gut no matter the outcome. It's about making brand new friends that create a whole new adventure.
I hope we hear from you when you return to the land of the web with so much to tell and share!
I think the ability to perceive the life of others and then point that lens back at yourself is where all the real value of travel comes from. When you appreciate the differences between your world and theirs, you can begin to be objective about whats wrong with your world, whats wrong with your value system, whats wrong with your social scene, as well as whats worth appreciating.
The cool stories, the beautiful sights, the new friends are all wonderful perks but ultimately its the ability to look at the world through a more objective perspective that makes travel so powerful.
In short, empathize with those around you, appreciate their world, and reflect on how its different from yours. If you do that well, you'll always gain something invaluable from your travels.
Why was I miserable? The one that stands out was the time that I expected the place to make me happy. Real happiness isn't in a place. A place is not enough.
By the way, real happiness isn't in another person, either. People can't make other people happy for very long. So the problem isn't that you've got the wrong people with you.
(And if you're going to ask me where it is, my answer is that it's in knowing Jesus Christ, and nowhere else. That's my experience. )
My personal experience with travel has been short term living stints. If you live in a place, it's more alive. There's more than tourists and tourism. Try 3month stays. If you're in Shanghai i can hook you up with some great expats living there and loving it.
Think about it:
- You have the chance to explore a place that millions of people will never even think of doing because they know they'll never be in a position to do so.
- Imagine you're on your deathbed looking back at your life. Will you be happy that you didn't go and do that thing you couldn't be bothered to try? (This applies to everything in life).
I don't offer an answer per se, other than to respect your own feelings. Maybe they will pass; maybe they won't. But in any case it is typical to feel as you do from time to time.
Enjoy your trip!