You may want to consider how to react differently in such a situation. That's definitely a fight you can't win, and indeed would probably lead to causing your loved ones more pain than it's worth. It's probably best to comply with order in the heat of the moment and later fight it in court. The outcome will be much, much better, I promise.
I mean no insult by saying this but you really just cannot understand what this is like unless you've lived it.
Yes they initially volunteered but then "stop-loss" happened and they had to stay in the active military for far longer than they were originally told they would.
Also many people were serving in reserve units or the National Guard (aka "weekend warriors") and entire units wound up being sent to Iraq because we didn't have enough active duty soldiers.
There's a hard to use .mil website that has details.[1] E.g deaths just in "Operation Iraqi Freedom" (there are additional ME deaths not included):
active duty 3502
reserve 413
National Guard 497
When you sign up they are very clear that the term of your enlistment is 8 years whether or not you serve 4 or 5 active. They can call you up anytime in that 8 years. It sucks but again it's not a violation of trust. Still being stop lossed to go back is hugely terrifying for guys ready to transition back to civilian life.
Some guys out there really need help. Fallujah and the Korengal were meat grinders. I haven't met a single guy who was boots on the ground there that isn't seriously messed up from it. We owe it to them to get the care they need but the VA is an absolute crime.
War is hell.
I remember hearing about neighbors who came back from Vietnam in around 1970, and they also suffered PTSD (of course I don't think we had that acronym then). And I knew an Army NCO (recipient of the Silver Star) who served two tours in Vietnam. He slept with a loaded .45 under his pillow, probably "cocked and locked" as they say (at least hopefully it was "locked"). And it wasn't because he lived in a bad neighborhood.
Its a shame that we still haven't figured out how to get help to those who need it, how to help ease those guys off that razor's edge that they needed to maintain in order to come back alive.
I was in for six, well back in the previous century. I don't recall having that explained to me when I joined, but it probably was. I did however learn before getting out after my six that I was still subject to recall until the eight year clock ran out.
In our name.
This has had me bolting out of an apartment flashlight in hand, yelling at things not there, beating up a wall (ouch), hitting glass and freaking out significant others.
No sleeping meds worked (Lunesta/Ambien intensified waking hallucinations) but Klonopin, as its just helping to reduce anxiety and keep me asleep.
Its a benzo, but just throwing it out there sir. Good luck.
It's very hard to not react in a particular way when it's what was ingrained as your method of survival in the field.
On that note The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is a great book on the science of how this works.
Since you know that you react like that and are hopefully doing what you can to change that even if the VA is a mess, it seems to me that the responsible thing to do is also to preemptively mitigate the impact of those reactions, since you already know that your decision-making in the heat of the moment is going to be somewhat hard-wired in a bad direction by past experience.
Hell, even just keeping the guns in a gun safe well away from the bedroom would make a big difference. You with a gun become a target, do anything you can to avoid being that target because dead men can't use the video evidence in court.
Thank you for caring.