Ask HN: How do you live in the moment? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How do you live in the moment?

4 pointsJ-dawg5 comments

It's often said that it's psychologically healthy to "live in the moment". I had never given this much thought, but have recently noticed how much time and mental effort I spend on worrying about the future and regretting previous bad decisions. This is seems to be a waste of brainpower and often distracts from the task at hand. However, I don't find it easy to stop. Can any HNers describe how they learned to live in the moment? Any suggested reading on the subject would also be appreciated.

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I would not dismiss worries and anxiety as a waste of brainpower. Simply repressing them for being productive right now can bite you in the long run. If possible, try to find their root cause without getting lost in navel gazing.

It might help to ask yourself what it is that you are worried about the future? Are there any steps you could do to prevent such an outcome? Personally, I found that writing down my thoughts helps a lot. Not only does it help to focus on the particular problem, but in the long run I see patterns of my fears and anxieties.

Regarding reading on the subject: I really like the book "How to stay sane" by Philippa Perry (The School of Life). It is a small, sober self-help book and as far away from the myriads of questionable pep-talk guidebooks as it can get. It also touches self-awareness which IMHO is key to sane "living in the moment".

When I wash dishes by hand, I find it pretty calming. Especially after a big family dinner with all the siblings. With all the attendant pots, pans, dishes. I think doing a repetitive task where you have to pay some level of mechanical attention to the task (e.g. hand washing wine glasses) helps free up part of the cognitive overhead that you usually dedicate to 'over thinking, worrying, pondering'. For some, it might not be washing dishes - my sister loves raking leaves - the non leaf-blower - you're never really done because the leaves keep on a'falling way. I think we all know our handful of activities that we enjoy doing - but aren't as fundamental as breathing (where it is kind of like being in an isolation tank - too isolated, pure).

If you truly lived in the moment, I'd assume your behavior would be like a random walk. The truth of the matter is that your behavior is conditioned on the past.

Maybe take a course on stochastic processes to clear your mind. (I'm joking, for the record. But hopefully the point has been made.)

In my experience, it's actually very hard to do so. It takes active practice to reinforce a way of thinking that's just not natural. You can check out "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle for suggestions and techniques to quieting your mind. I believe one example for those just starting out is to observe your inner monologues as they happen and simply note them. It has an interesting side effect of stopping your wandering thoughts in it's tracks sometimes. For about 5-6 months I was able to practice "being in the now" and I have to say it really was worth doing and I wish I was better able to stay in that frame of mind for longer. Alas, with most things if you don't practice it then you generally lose it.

This is inspired by vipassanā, but one technique is to not fight thoughts as they arise (which can be counterproductive), but rather to acknowledge and understand them for what they are: unreality.

So when worry arises, you might try labeling it in your mind: "Worry, worry, worry." That may sound trivial, but you may also find it calming.

Can you really be defined by a decision you once made?

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