What goes on at the chip level is terrifying. "You have to understand," a hardware engineer once said to me, when we shipped a consumer computer that was clocking its memory system 15% faster than the chips were supposed to go, "that DRAMs are essentially analog devices." He was pushing them to the limit, but he knew what it was, and we never had a problem with the memory system.
There was a great TR from IBM describing memory system design for one of their PowerPC chips. Summary: Do your board layout, follow all these rules [a big list], then plan to spend six months in a lab twiddling transmission line parameters and re-doing layout until you're sure it works . . .