(Draft in part because some of the figures still need work. I'm a coauthor of the book, but not of this particular chapter.)
I was really excited when I first stumbled onto this book. As you can imagine, it's perfectly in line with my interests. But, when I tried to read it, the prose just killed me. I think there's good ideas in there, but I can't bear to wade through the heavy-handed academic style get there.
I understand writing for a certain venue requires certain stylistic choices, but I really hope you guys can tone it down a bit. Here's a sentence plucked randomly from the linked chapter:
> "Generative grammars were originally devised as a method to formally describe sets of linguistic phrases."
Let me just go through that:
"originally devised" -> "Devise" implies originality.
"as a method" -> This adds nothing to the sentence.
"formally" -> I suppose this matters in some cases but given that the chapter isn't a precise introduction to generative grammars, whether or not it's a formal system doesn't seem very critical to me.
"sets of" -> This adds nothing.
"linquistic" -> What other kinds of phrases are there?
I would edit this sentence down to:
> Generative grammars were invented to describe written text.
I understand academic writing isn't designed to be read for pleasure, but we're all human. If you make the prose more approachable, you'll reach a much wider audience. You have some fantastic material in here, great algorithms, diagrams, and structure. I just feel that the writing style gets in the way of it.
If I could suggest anything, it's that the authors go through the prose and for every phrase ask themselves: "Does this add information? Is there a way to convey the same concept in plainer language?"
http://www.amazon.com/The-Sense-Style-Thinking-Person%C2%92s...
“A coherent text is one in which the reader always knows which coherence relation holds between one sentence and the next.”
Sage advice indeed.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/bookreviews/1108972...
If it is a subject you are interested in, then George Orwell's essay on writing style [1] is worth a read.
I also highly recommend William Zinsser's On Writing Well. It's a perfect gem of a book and improved my writing more than anything else ever has.
The full text is available online
Musical phrases.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrase_%28music%29
Means almost the same thing as linguistic phrases except it is about groups of notes rather than groups of words.
But yes, I'm aiming to bring it in a more conversational direction. It still needs editing too, but Ch. 8 is closer to the style I'm personally aiming for.
"originally devised" -> "Devise" implies originality.
The phrase "originally devised" implies the usage of the devised thing has since changed or expanded beyond the purpose of its invention. This is important, because it is in a passage talking about one of those new usages - dungeon generation.
Yes, your sentence has the same meaning, and in a weak sense has the same implication, but "originally devised/invented" has a history that boosts that implication to make the purpose clearer.