Look smart to who? I studiously avoid mentioning any of this to anyone at my school for fear of seeming arrogant.
"It has the intellectual content of a whiffle ball, and the only reason to do it is to collect money, generally from the gullible or the corrupt."
Yup. I did these things entirely for the purpose of making money and not for the intellectual challenges, because money is useful and I'm currently broke.
"And real investors (as opposed to gamblers and shills) don't waste time modeling the market, because they've all read Malkiel."
Google Renaissance Technologies.
"Where do you find all this time?"
College is not very demanding. My usual load is two technical courses and two nontechnical courses, which take up 10 * 2 + 6 * 2 = 32 hours a week.
"You claim to be interested in physics; do you understand Maxwell's equations, stat mech, quantum decoherence, general relativity?"
Yes, yes, yes, somewhat (working on it).
"You claim an interest in math; have you run out of math courses?"
I will next year at my current pace.
"Chemistry: Do you understand the band structure of solids?"
Yup.
"Do you know what siRNA is"
Nope, thanks for the link.
"can you do graduate-level molecular biology lab work?"
I probably could given a month or so of training, but I seriously doubt any professor would let me because of my age and my relative lack of bio courses.
"Computers: Have you finished SICP, learned operating systems and algorithms?"
I haven't written my own OS or programming language if that's what you mean, but I find solving problems that have already been solved a zillion times better by thousands of other people working together over decades to be distasteful; what's the point?
"Have you even considered linguistics, or geology, or anthropology?"
Yes. I know some geology and anthropology but find linguistics boring.
"Study any foreign languages?"
Yes, I find them quite boring, it's basically just a great deal of memorization by rote.
"How's your music theory?"
Music cannot be explicitly taught in the same way that any of these other things can. I'm not sure how it can be taught, actually. I could probably become good at it given several thousand hours of work but don't see the point in investing that much time.