"Boy gets taken from an idyllic childhood, becomes rich and corrupt newspaper man, and utters an enigmatic last word on his death bed."

"Large fish eats people. Chomp. Chomp chomp."

"Ugly bell-ringer falls in love with beautiful social outcast. Doesn't get her."

"Man loses leg, sanity, life to large white aquatic mammal. Crewmember who enjoyed knocking hats off mens' heads returns alone to tell the tale."

Yep. Much better.