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Really? If that's the case then presumably you didn't take the photos in your article, so you should be attributing them to their owners. If you did take the photos then either you're doing more than just recounting a bad experience, or you take the weirdest holiday snaps ever.

Blake that was one of the funniest articles I have read in a long time. The content wasn't particularly interesting to me but coffee blew out of my nose at "Bankery Robberson" and I had to read to the end. Your high school English teacher would be proud.

Surely Uber is not the right solution here. Just extend the monorail out to the airport. How long could that possibly take?

At gov't speed, 12 years/mile.

That is not a speed.

That's very much a speed. It's a really slow speed, which is what was indicated with the sarcastic remark.

12 years/mile. So, I see rate (1 mile) and time (12 years). If you want to REwrite this, you can say (1/12)mile/year.

And that's also a speed.

Hilarious article, made a great start to my day. Thanks for writing.