Most sites are not Twitter. They're not Stack Overflow. They're not even Nanowrimo. I've watched a company spend two years, dozens of developers, and over a million in ESB license fees failing to write a site that was expected to have, at peak, 100 users/day. Their competitor had four guys writing Ruby, and was profitable after the first month. Nor are the performance advantages "permanent"; even if you use Java, you will probably have to rewrite if you reach Twitter scale, because your initial app won't be clusterable (or if it is, it's massively overengineered and your business will fail). So do it the way twitter succeeded - write the first version in Ruby, and then worry about performance when you need to.
The advantage of using the same language on both sides of a boundary are real but overstated. If you have a system with multiple components, you probably need to evolve the interfaces between them, and you need to be able to upgrade without downtime. Which means you need well-defined interfaces for which you understand the compatibility implications - in other words, you need something like Thrift. I've used Thrift even for Java-Java interfaces, but once you're using something like that it doesn't matter which language is on the other side.
Still, the library point is valid, as is the point about spending time with a language. Better to have one language that you know very well than ten in which you dabble. But by the same token it's worth taking the time to make sure that language is the very best available. I use Scala for everything, and there's plenty to learn - maybe even twice as much as a "normal" language. But if I'm focusing on that one language, I can afford to take the time to learn it really well. And Scala combines the expressiveness, clarity and scripting-suitability of Python (yes, it can be unclear if you use silly method names or libraries that use silly method names - don't do that then) with the strong type-safety and performance of Java. It's a great language in any case, but especially if you want a single language for everything, I don't think anything else comes close.