The 6 Secrets to Getting Promoted (for Software Engineers)

in certain instances and with certain managers, boot licking might work. but it's not a good strategy, and doesn't work with good people as much as competence does.

Yes soft skills matter. You do not want to be seen as someone who's more disruptive than productive. You do not want to be 'tolerated'. Being able to persuade is a very important skill in a tech company. It's to be learned, rather than scorned :)

I think a lot of the points apply to jobs in general. Who doesn't want a helpful and highly productive worker, or a someone who can be relied upon to do something well. Being obsessed about writing really good software does make you stand out. But knowing the architecture well is an uncommon skill, and I think starts making you eligible for a senior/architect type of role. Helping others succeed will help you make more friends than enemies in any workplace. 'The right kind of ambition' I think starts playing a major role as you move up - it makes you look like a 'company man' in a positive way, and not just an individual contributor. Cool headedness and standing up for the team are basic leadership qualities. I wish more managers had them. Mine doesn't.