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I want to know, but do not know, what other people think of me; which of my traits matter to them and which don't; what determines their reactions to my words and deeds; and how a person can learn such things in general ("just asking" obviously doesn't work). For looks we have sites like hotornot with anonymous reviews and ratings, but what to do about personality?

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I think it's actually relatively easy to figure out what people think about you. If you do something, and a number of people react, you can generally start to draw a "trend line" through the behaviours of different people towards you over the course of some amount of time.

I think it's just important to pay attention.

This question keeps me up some nights wondering where I have been a git in my recent history. I tend to heavily err on the side of caution and then apologise ASAP to people if I think I might have used the wrong words in a scenario (been mis-interpreted), have made a mistake or potentially some other social faux pas.

In most cases they laugh it off and say it was nothing but maybe in some cases it does help, I dunno.

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