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Comment by treehau5 | Hacker News Reader

I can relate to this so much it's not even funny. Don't let your fear of failure get in the way. I currently struggle with the same -- applying myself to a difficult task. Staying focused longer than 10 minutes at a time was difficult -- so difficult I was even suspicious I may of had adult ADHD. Turns out that I don't. What I have is the fear of failing and rejection. The fear of exposing my weaknesses to others, and my coping mechanism is procrastination. My procrastination shields me from the possibility of ever failing because, hey, I never gave it my best shot anyway, right?

Hopefully this wasn't too off base, Just thought I'd share as well because I related to this so much.

I wish you all the best!

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> Staying focused longer than 10 minutes at a time was difficult

I found an unexpected solution in working with someone else - that is - not working alone on the project. The more social interaction is involved, the less I am affected by procrastination. You have to make yourself visible and accountable to other people, to feel shame if you slack off, to feel energized when you make progress and then discuss it with them. In other words, you need to have a person witnessing you as you work.

Think back - in school and while being employed you always had a teacher or boss to witness your work, you had colleagues, but when you are alone with a project, then all this social stabilizing effect is gone.

I've found that this can be applied to exercise as well. Not necessarily hiring a personal trainer but having someone who counts on you to meet them to go on a jog or meet at the gym and not wanting to let them down helps keep you accountable.

I have severe ADD, and this is very much true for me as well. I look for reasons to "cross-train" with coworkers, having them sit in and comment on whatever I'm working on, because just having someone looking over my shoulder makes it so much easier to resist distraction. I'm hoping to develop more formal pair-programming practices.

Terrific advice.

We're social creatures. When we work cooperatively with others we gain an enriched sense of accomplishment, even when know we could have done the work ourselves.

This is definitely true!

I did my best work when we were on the pairing machines. However, we stopped using them as much because some of our work is so siloed. It was a shame. I am always looking to pair with people, but its very difficult I have found. I tried the online things, like the "#PairWithMe" initiative. No dice so far.

> so difficult I was even suspicious I may of had adult ADHD. Turns out that I don't.

I want to thank you so much for writing this. I feel like I've heard this story a million times, but every single time it ends in the author self-diagnosing AD[H]D. This is literally the very first time I've ever heard of someone suspecting they had it and then ruling it out.

It's a relief to hear that there might be other possible causes of common problems.

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