You did every single one of those things to yourself. In each of those situations, you had a choice, and you made it. "Startup culture" isn't to blame. YC isn't to blame. Investors and sales meetings aren't to blame. You are. You decided your business was more important than your family.

And maybe it was. I wasn't there; I can't say.

Please understand, I'm not moralizing here. I'm not saying you were wrong. I'm aware there are consequences to any of the choices one might make in these situations. I'm merely pointing out the demonstrable fact, by virtue of your self-reported behavior, that you chose your business over your family in each of these cases you're lamenting.

Own it. Don't point at something else, all, "But that thing over there." You made a choice that was unequivocally yours and yours alone to make.