My Wife Is Telling Me to Have Drinks with Other Women (maybe You Should, Too) | Hacker News Reader

My Wife Is Telling Me to Have Drinks with Other Women (maybe You Should, Too)

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21 pointsJasonp17 comments

Today's Dilbert is highly relevant: http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2014-10-22/

Wow, that timing.

I'm a little puzzled. If you're uncomfortable having business drinks with women, and you've seen how a simple invitation can go badly in a sexual harassment context, why not just stop having drinks as a context for a business meeting with either men or women? Have lunch, get together for coffee, etc.

The point I am trying to make is a little broader: assume that a lot of business and networking does happen over drinks already. In my business it does. There's nothing wrong with coffee, lunch, etc. It's just that if I am going to do a lot of business over drinks in the afternoon or evening, it seems unfair to limit those opportunities to other men.

I don't think the points are very different in breadth. You're saying, Do thing X with women if you're comfortable doing it with men. I'm saying the alternative is, Don't do thing X with men if you're uncomfortable doing it with women.

Normally, I'd say they were equivalent and lean towards the first option as less limiting, but if there are serious potential downsides, the second option seems to have merit.

As a man who doesn't drink I can't help but feel the problem here isn't drinking with the opposite sex but drinking as part of a business relationship (outside the Christmas party).

I don't think I would be particularly comfortable at such a meeting; If I did drink I'd not enjoy the act and quickly become introverted (I have a low tolerance, I'm not used to it). If I didn't drink I would feel I'm not committing to the social aspect of the meeting.

What's wrong with a working lunch?

I think it would be great for my health if my industry didn't run on alcohol.

Per my comment above, I am more concerned in this case with unconsciously limiting our opportunities for partnerships, deal, etc, to businesses run by other men just because the current norm frowns on having a drink with women.

Then order something else.

The wife of the person the article is addressing seems oddly absent from the article. I am guessing a lot of men do not go out for drinks alone with women in a professional context out of respect for their wife's feelings.

This seems to happen a lot. Sheryl Sandberg talks about this too especially with mentoring which requires a lot of a one on one meeting

True, mentoring is necessarily one-on-one.

The $10,000 pay difference between men and women in executive positions seems far from practically the same to me.

Fair point. It should be rephrased to mean, a much smaller gap than is commonly understood to exist.

I paraphrased from the event, and then added the data w/o double checking. Shame on me.

Maybe his wife who chose not to even take his last name, went out to get some D with other guys. Thinking it meant "D"rinks

There's a chance the wife is having drinks with other men (just as friends) and she feels guilty so wants her husband to get drinks with other women as well.

Definitely. She's probably planing to get divorced. Come back to us in six months...

I think this underlines the point rather well -- it's SO improbable that sharing a drink is anything but romantic that you guys assume a divorce in 6months?

FWIW, my wife (Monica Guzman) is commenting actively on FB thread about this here. https://www.facebook.com/moniguzman/posts/759642049127?notif...

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