I loved that part. "We're going to complain because Apple won't let us use their design, so we came up with our own design that we also won't let people use".

upon filing a provisional patent i believe you can then use 'patent pending' wordage - so thats how. esp. given that no patent has been awarded at that time, you can effectively call anything patent pending but the operative word is pending which could be replaced by 'maybe', 'possibly', 'attempted' etc.

I have always wondered why 'patent pending' or 'patented technology' is used to market to consumers, you see it on a lot of commercials. Sure it suggests to the consumers thinking deeply that perhaps they won't be able to get that design anywhere else, but anyone thinking about it that deeply in 2014 might also say to themselves 'screw that, its a plastic clip'.

Patents are for businesses, not consumers, companies shouldn't advertise patents for a device/solution, they should advertise the solution or device.

You can patent anything these days. Patents aren't really tested until you have to defend them in court. The PTO can't afford to figure out if patents are valid so they lay that burden on the courts and whoever has to dispute/defend the patent.