Alone in the dark | Hacker News Reader

Alone in the dark

5 pointsBenjaminSisko7 comments

Hello. I have noticed that people often come here to ask for IT advice, for example what the best developer laptop is. I also have a problem, but it is not of a technical nature. I live in a small European country. I have always found IT-world fascinating. So once I had an opportunity to seriously study IT, I used it. But for some reason people don’t like me. For as long as I can remember I have always been the odd man out. Remember the lonely fat kid no one wanted to play with? I am that kid. I have tried to make friends but people come to me usually only when they need something from me. But if I need something (partners for a group project for example) I stand alone. There could be several reasons. I am oldest person in my class, physically I am not very pleasing. But this is irrelevant. I have come to terms with the fact that if I want to succeed I must do it alone. But professors are always pointing out that IT is a team effort. Sadly this is true. Yet, academically I am doing great. I am at the top 10% of the class, graduating will be no problem for me, even if I must do everything by myself. So let’s cut to the chase. I need advice about fields in IT where gifted person could be independent. And please don’t give me advice to put yourself out there, try to make friends. That is not going to happen. What I want (and what I truly need) is a few good suggestions where I should aim with my career. I don’t have to decide anything now right now (currently I only started my second year of three years to get a bachelor’s degree) but I like to be prepared. Thank you in advance.

I'd guess that if you get an IT job in a workplace that's run by mature adults, you'll be treated much better than what you've experienced so far in school. If someone is going to pay you good money to do work that's valuable for them, they're much less likely to treat you like crap.

By looking only for jobs that can be done by a single person working alone, you'll be (1) making it much harder to find a job (not too many places would be interested in hiring someone right out of school as the lead developer on a project) and (2) depriving yourself of the valuable experience that comes from working with people who are more experienced in your field.

One last point: the tech world is full of people who were the "odd man out" growing up - that would be a pretty good description of me and a lot of my co-workers. Actually, I'm still pretty much the "odd man out" in middle age, but that hasn't stopped me from having a successful software development career working with (and even managing) other people.

Best of luck in whatever path you choose to pursue!

> I have always been the odd man out.

Fortunately social skills and physical fitness can learned and practiced. Suggest reading Dale Carnegie's classic on handling people> http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_a...

There are a number of entry-level jobs that don't require much social interaction, but you'll have a small chance of getting promoted.

No matter what you're doing, advancement often means managing others, helping others with their jobs, organizing teams, talking to clients, etc.

The good news is, it's not too late. Some people seem to be born with awesome social skills, others have to learn them; but they are learn-able. I would consider social skills as important as any other technical skill you're learning in school; they will be just as important in the long run.

If you are a kind and pleasant person to be around, you will find kind and pleasant people who want to be friends with you. Other people may still not want to, but you can ignore them. The important thing is to find the right kinds of friends for you. They might not be what you expect at first, so don't turn away anyone. Be kind and pleasant and people naturally will want to be around you.

Oh since you are in school I'll assume you are early 20's. The above advice becomes more true as you get older.

Try to look as good as possible in terms of clothes and personal hygiene. Nothing is stopping you from doing that.

Security/Penetration testing and cryptography fields are great areas to (at least) start alone.

Careful. Starting solo means you don't have a mentor around to say, "Hey, don't do that, you'll get thrown in prison." :)

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