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I agree with your comments except the money laundering part. For money laundering, doesn't the source of the proceeds have to be illegal?

No.

It used to be an "ancillary" crime, but now it's simply illegal to move money while looking like you're trying to hide the source.

I believe you, actually, but can you provide a source? Thanks.

I think you're thinking of "structuring", not money laundering. Can you cite a US statute? Money laundering is 18 U.S.C. section 1956, for example.